The greatest Top Ten registered patents of 2017

The greatest Top Ten registered patents of 2017.

Ranked in order of stupidity.

1. A tube up an astronaut’s arse on a diet of Sauer Kraut can reach Mars in a week. My patent is for making opening the lid of such a bottle quicker by simply smashing it with a hammer.

2. Eating genetic manipulated Dodo birds using 3D printing.

3.  Special undepictable enhancing drugs to make England win another World Football Cup.

4. A Watch that does not have a clue what time it is.

5. Hard not to give a shit.

6. How to throttle Barry Manilow and no one finds out he is dead.

7. How to get bored by reading shite on Facebook.

8. A cure for blindness linking it to masturbation.

9. Nein is the number not for nine in German. But worth to patent it.

AND – at Number TEN

The winner is …

10. Ten. For there is no such number.

Thus – a patent awarded – there is only zero and …one.

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