Monday, April 30, 2018

Approaching 60



As you (male), approach 60

Feminism
– a subject of breast proportions? Not really. Look at us old Rhodie men. Their tits hanging lower than their spouses.
Impartiality – a term used as you snore drunk in bed, or on the floor.
Gravity - becomes a problem. It hits you hard and you can no longer bounce up.

Booze
– with so much lead in the water, stick to alcohol and wear muscle vests and get a tattoo.
Defecation – Stop screaming and sing a song. It helps.

Wrinkly skin – Save a fortune by not buying all those daft creams. They do not work. Just get a bag of gypsum, follow the instruction and fill in the gaps.

Thinning hair or baldness
– carefully cut the fluff from the scrotum and anal area and glue it onto your head. You will look like a right twat.

Bad Teeth
– Have them all removed. With some serious booze you can DIY. Then, simply take a ping pong ball, cut it in half and glue them up and down in your mouth. It gives you a great white smile.

Uninterested Willie syndrome
– Thank the lawd that you no longer are going blind, or suffer from wanker’s cramps, blisters or tennis elbow. It is a blessing, not a curse.

Spaghetti Bolognaise
– Has fuck all to do with this theme… next
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