Monday, April 30, 2018

The Ant Eater Anthony.

The Ant Eater Anthony.

Anthony believed his mother was an armadillo.  

Does not say a lot for his father.

Anthony was obsessed with ants. He simply could not get enough of them. He ate only ants. Green ants, black ants, little ants, any ants that activated appetite. He even started to look like an ant.

he made a mistake.

He heard about the famed Matabele ants of Zimbabwe. Big mothers.

A shovel full would fill his belly for four days.

Anthony went to Gokwe in Zimbabwe and the local ant guide guided him to a monstrous nest of these, hissing, pissing mad fucker ants with jaws as large as your former back milk teeth.

Scooping them up, he swallowed hundreds with glee.
Suddenly, eyes turned in head. His body twitched spasmodically. Not Anthony - his guide had stood on one and was having a seizure.

Anthony munched away, watching with interest as the great ant guide filled his undies, shot urine and trembled in his death throes.

Suddenly, as suddenly always comes as a sudden
the heavens opened. (Opened with what? In this case rain.)

Anthony moaned. Terrible stirrings within his body. Like
he needed a shit but not. Fluttering in his intestines.

Collapsing on all fours, he pulled his bum cover down, used his hands to spread the buttock trap, and lo and behold, thousands of flying ants did exit. Free to procreate.

And so
the circle of life continues.

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