Monday, April 30, 2018



I bought a washing machine yesterday and brought it back today.

I read the destructions. Seemed simple enough. Although I had to scan the Chinese and get google to translate it.

One pipe in (clean water) one pipe out - dirty water. An electric wire with a plug that fits in a hole in the wall. Seemples.

what am I gonna wash?
Easy. Loaded the thing with 12 pairs of shit filled skanks, three pairs of stinking socks, two frying pans and a saucepan half full of ravioli. Plus two pairs of stinky trainers.

Easy wash. And off it goes.

That was the problem because off it went. I was drunk in bed
but the noise awoke me. The fucking thing had gone insane on spin. Tops and turvey and smellie skanks all over the place. Ripped his electrical umbilical chord out, piled through my front door and fell all the way into the cellar.

I dragged the stupid thing into my car and explained to the salesman what happened. He offered me a replacement for free.

I asked if he happened to know Sarah, three aisles away. He did
fixed us up and now she washes for me happily ever after.

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