Peter Patterson – alive but not kicking.

Peter Patterson – alive but not kicking.

In 2017, Peter was totally pissed out of his head after drinking 14 pints of Guinness in his local pub.

An unemployed weaver, he showed his ability through the traffic as he tried do a runner for not paying for his last pint, as he was skint.

Then –

Whack The Number 13 bus to Brixton – bang, tumbling body. Legs and arms flailing.

 Arms still attached but the legs ran off.

Left legless, Peter had to contemplate that he would never walk again. Luckily, at that moment in time, he was to pissed to realise he really was legless.

Eventually he woke up in some hospital. He thought he was sleeping it off and tried to stand up.

Peter, with no legs, fell off the bed. Totally confused, he crawled his way out the hospital and asking for directions and begging, found his local.

Paid for his last pint and had enough change for seven more.