Sunday, April 29, 2018

Feeling sorry for Archibald (aka - Itchy) Arsehole.


Feeling sorry for Archibald (aka - Itchy) Arsehole.

Besides that he had a serious problem with his surname – last week Itchy Arsehole was on his way to sign on for benefits. Itchy had never worked in all 47 years of breathing air for free.

Every time he went to an interview for a job, he just kept silent and scratched at his arsehole whilst grinning and squinting his eyes.

But on Tuesday, 14th of March, he came a bit of a cropper. He had just pulled his dosh from the ATM and was off to his local to increase the landlord’s profits at the expense of the tax payer – when…

His left Nike trainer stood on some freshly spat out chewing gum from some knife wielding gang member, and his lovely right designer shoe stood in a pile of dog shit left by some bitch who couldn’t be arsed to clean her bitches shit up.

Hang on. I rewrite that. Some bitch let her bitch dak on the pavement and the bitch didn’t clean the bitch’s shit up. Got that?)

So…

What Did Itchy Arsehole do. What would you do?

He undid the shoelaces – and walked the final 30 yards to his local in his Lacoste crocodile emblem socks.

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