Born blind drunk due to his alcoholic mother and father, his only chance of life was to be bottle fed gin and tonic. His mother had died at the age of 12 whilst crossing the road. She had been drinking the dregs from discarded bottles in the back yard of the local pub – ‘Shag a bag’. Its iconic swinging shield was a stolen Village sign from Austria. (See attachment.)
Staggering home, she was taken out by an Uber taxi driver on the run from the police for having no insurance and a raped paying passenger, Sam Jones, moaning about the pain in his bum hole.
John’s father. Well, really hard to describe that waster.
Had been a Catholic priest. Spent 14 years in jail for raping an entire church boy’s choir. Released at the age of 73, he seduced John’s mother by lacing her with booze, ecstasy and some really good cocaine.
He was stabbed to death by an insane Muslim on London bridge. No one came to his funeral and in fact, his corpse was thrown into the Thames and the river boat propellers churned him into fish food. Not that there are any fish in the river.
Now an orphan, John’s mind was pretty fucked up. Difficult to describe what he was thinking. He had been arrested several times for breaking into old people’s homes and masturbating onto sleeping grannies’ heads.
Finally, locked up in an institute for the criminal insane, John, now 47, chewed on his own log and caught a tooth infection. He would die a terrible death, riddled with pain and suffering.
Serves him right.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria
Had been a Catholic priest. Spent 14 years in jail for raping an entire church boy’s choir. Released at the age of 73, he seduced John’s mother by lacing her with booze, ecstasy and some really good cocaine.
He was stabbed to death by an insane Muslim on London bridge. No one came to his funeral and in fact, his corpse was thrown into the Thames and the river boat propellers churned him into fish food. Not that there are any fish in the river.
Now an orphan, John’s mind was pretty fucked up. Difficult to describe what he was thinking. He had been arrested several times for breaking into old people’s homes and masturbating onto sleeping grannies’ heads.
Finally, locked up in an institute for the criminal insane, John, now 47, chewed on his own log and caught a tooth infection. He would die a terrible death, riddled with pain and suffering.
Serves him right.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria 
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