Bingo – King of
the Bongos. Part 10
The Donald forgives the Thanksgivings turkeys – AD 2019.
Press presentation in the rose garden. A tad chilly at minus 47c, but by burning loads of fossil fuels, the large tent is steaming.
‘People of America, and I include only those with white skins and the rest are human trafficking Gypos from Mexico and a load of drug dealers, rapists and gangsters who should go back to Africa. They came over here for free and as token gesture we send them back to Africa at a reduced rate.
But, today, I received a gift from those Commie slit eyes in Chinky land, of two peace turkeys called Wing Wam and Chop Suey. I am supposed to forgive them for their sins, but I gather they got bird flu.
Now – see that large rose bush. Watch this.’
A secret service bodyguard hands him a baseball bat.
‘This bat, is part of my personal collection, it was wielded by non-other by, ‘The Irishman’, when he bludgeoned Jimmy Hoffa to death and it is personally signed by him. Bring me Wing Wam.’
Press presentation in the rose garden. A tad chilly at minus 47c, but by burning loads of fossil fuels, the large tent is steaming.
‘People of America, and I include only those with white skins and the rest are human trafficking Gypos from Mexico and a load of drug dealers, rapists and gangsters who should go back to Africa. They came over here for free and as token gesture we send them back to Africa at a reduced rate.
But, today, I received a gift from those Commie slit eyes in Chinky land, of two peace turkeys called Wing Wam and Chop Suey. I am supposed to forgive them for their sins, but I gather they got bird flu.
Now – see that large rose bush. Watch this.’
A secret service bodyguard hands him a baseball bat.
‘This bat, is part of my personal collection, it was wielded by non-other by, ‘The Irishman’, when he bludgeoned Jimmy Hoffa to death and it is personally signed by him. Bring me Wing Wam.’
The Donald took a few practice swings, then struck. The turkey gobbled and soon took nervous flight, as its head was struck such a blow as to fly without wings to land perfectly on the top of the designated rose bush.
The press cheered and high-fived. This was God’s work in action against the dreaded
reds. The Donald, raised his arms and swapped the base ball bat for a tiny
capsule.
‘Wing Wam is now wingless and WHAM, hey? Great laugh folks, great laugh, I tell ya. But, hang on, this here is the world’s smallest nuclear bomb. Made in America, folks. We don’t even have a washing machine in the Whitehouse. Too many Chinese made parts, no folks, none of that – we get true Americans to wash our clothes. Well, not our clothes. We just buy new ones.’
The press are now full saturated on free Jack Daniels and Fox News presenter, Samantha Luvcock, is desperate to replace the last turkey so as to get a gobble.
The brilliant Sky News, investigative journalist, award winning, Rhodesian educated, Alex Crawford, sent the secret message to her film and sound crew via ‘fuckedupapp’ – ‘The fucker is mad, get us out of here.’
Unperturbed, the Donald grabs Chop Suey and places the tiny atomic bomb in the anus of Chop Suey. It gobbles excitedly. Wiping his hands of turkey shit on his ever-present, dumb blonde wife on her big tits and commie background, - he waves his hand.
‘This is America, the land of the free. I will give those commie bastards a sign. See this! It is a remote control. My scientists tell me that Chop Suey will dissipate into a mushroom cloud and radiation is restricted to 300 feet, so I suggest you mother fuckers of fake news step a bit closer.’
With that, the Donald flew off in his Airforce 2 and a bit, helicopter, and pushed the red button.
As most of the Whitehouse dissolved with the press becoming shadows on the side walk, he phoned his best mate Boris, Prime Minister of Brexit island.
‘I need to talk to you.’
Boris replays. ‘You are.’
‘Yeah, listen, what’s this shit about Bingo and all that. I got a bad feeling.’
- - -
Trouble
ahead?‘Wing Wam is now wingless and WHAM, hey? Great laugh folks, great laugh, I tell ya. But, hang on, this here is the world’s smallest nuclear bomb. Made in America, folks. We don’t even have a washing machine in the Whitehouse. Too many Chinese made parts, no folks, none of that – we get true Americans to wash our clothes. Well, not our clothes. We just buy new ones.’
The press are now full saturated on free Jack Daniels and Fox News presenter, Samantha Luvcock, is desperate to replace the last turkey so as to get a gobble.
The brilliant Sky News, investigative journalist, award winning, Rhodesian educated, Alex Crawford, sent the secret message to her film and sound crew via ‘fuckedupapp’ – ‘The fucker is mad, get us out of here.’
Unperturbed, the Donald grabs Chop Suey and places the tiny atomic bomb in the anus of Chop Suey. It gobbles excitedly. Wiping his hands of turkey shit on his ever-present, dumb blonde wife on her big tits and commie background, - he waves his hand.
‘This is America, the land of the free. I will give those commie bastards a sign. See this! It is a remote control. My scientists tell me that Chop Suey will dissipate into a mushroom cloud and radiation is restricted to 300 feet, so I suggest you mother fuckers of fake news step a bit closer.’
With that, the Donald flew off in his Airforce 2 and a bit, helicopter, and pushed the red button.
As most of the Whitehouse dissolved with the press becoming shadows on the side walk, he phoned his best mate Boris, Prime Minister of Brexit island.
‘I need to talk to you.’
Boris replays. ‘You are.’
‘Yeah, listen, what’s this shit about Bingo and all that. I got a bad feeling.’
- - -
Who will give head to make trouble? Tarzan?
Stay tuned for the next episode of – Bingo – King of the Bongos.
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