Bingo – King
of the Bongos -Part Two.
Macho, Ponco and Mattress have a plan. Bumping off the grandparents was easy. Demanding a day out to go fishing at the man-made lake on the 50,000 square kilometres of land controlled by the cartel, they simply drowned them. The piranhas did the rest.
Bingo and Tracy had for some time been rather alarmed at the antics of the triplets. Sprinkled cocaine on their cereal was alarming enough but spending hours doped and Macho and Poncho using Mattress as sexual relief raised warning signs. (No one was to bother about the strange disappearance of the grandparents.)
Getting a first-rate quack Doc from the United States, the triplets, drugged out their skulls, electric shocks to calm them down- had all a frontal lobotomy. The removed bits then fried gently with rosemary and garlic, French fries and a lovely chardonnay were served to them. It would help them think.
I mean, these three were the future! A billion dollar empire run by lunatics! Sense must prevail. With a large part of their thinking process removed and now being digested by each other, Macho shat his sister out and Poncho shat Macho out and Mattress shat Poncho out and they went… Fucking mental!
After awaking and checking they had matching stiches to the sides of their heads, their empty skulls rattled a few loose stones of subterfuge. First stop – the coke stash. Fully loaded in what was the rest of their heads – next stop, the weapons stash.
They also needed to have a little chat with Mom and Dad. They were in the entertaining room. Must have been about 8.30pm. Disco lights swirling, fog machine pumping out to the beat of Ma baker by Boney M. Tracy and Bingo were just about to wrapping up the end of a battle with a neighbouring cartel – The San Pedro. Named after its boss, San Pedro. The massacre had been bloodily done and the only loose threads hanging about was a flayed San Pedro on a meat hook suspended from the ceiling.
Macho started the conversation. ‘Yo Pops, Mother fucker, and you, you plastic bitch of a Daddy fucker – yo yo- hah ha- greetings from planet zog.’
Poncho – ‘What he means that his head hurts.’
Mattress –‘My vagina hurts. What we want to say is – ahhh- knits in my crotch, ahh – we want OUT (she shouts) we want FREEDOM.’
Bingo, King of the Bongo sighs – ‘What the fuck are you three clowns going on about?’
Macho, Ponco and Mattress have a plan. Bumping off the grandparents was easy. Demanding a day out to go fishing at the man-made lake on the 50,000 square kilometres of land controlled by the cartel, they simply drowned them. The piranhas did the rest.
Bingo and Tracy had for some time been rather alarmed at the antics of the triplets. Sprinkled cocaine on their cereal was alarming enough but spending hours doped and Macho and Poncho using Mattress as sexual relief raised warning signs. (No one was to bother about the strange disappearance of the grandparents.)
Getting a first-rate quack Doc from the United States, the triplets, drugged out their skulls, electric shocks to calm them down- had all a frontal lobotomy. The removed bits then fried gently with rosemary and garlic, French fries and a lovely chardonnay were served to them. It would help them think.
I mean, these three were the future! A billion dollar empire run by lunatics! Sense must prevail. With a large part of their thinking process removed and now being digested by each other, Macho shat his sister out and Poncho shat Macho out and Mattress shat Poncho out and they went… Fucking mental!
After awaking and checking they had matching stiches to the sides of their heads, their empty skulls rattled a few loose stones of subterfuge. First stop – the coke stash. Fully loaded in what was the rest of their heads – next stop, the weapons stash.
They also needed to have a little chat with Mom and Dad. They were in the entertaining room. Must have been about 8.30pm. Disco lights swirling, fog machine pumping out to the beat of Ma baker by Boney M. Tracy and Bingo were just about to wrapping up the end of a battle with a neighbouring cartel – The San Pedro. Named after its boss, San Pedro. The massacre had been bloodily done and the only loose threads hanging about was a flayed San Pedro on a meat hook suspended from the ceiling.
Macho started the conversation. ‘Yo Pops, Mother fucker, and you, you plastic bitch of a Daddy fucker – yo yo- hah ha- greetings from planet zog.’
Poncho – ‘What he means that his head hurts.’
Mattress –‘My vagina hurts. What we want to say is – ahhh- knits in my crotch, ahh – we want OUT (she shouts) we want FREEDOM.’
Bingo, King of the Bongo sighs – ‘What the fuck are you three clowns going on about?’
Poncho – ‘We want to go to your roots in the
Congo and live with the Bongos and teach them how to sniff cocaine and drink tequila
and rape nuns and murder missionaries – and ah
hah hah – what yes Oh no. Yes okay.’
Macho – ‘I want to fuck a lark.’
Macho – ‘I want to fuck a lark.’
Bingo, King of the bongos – ‘Listen you idiots, yes, you are the
fruits of my loins and,’
Tracy – ‘And my womb via my virgin entrance
hole’
Bingo – What do you expect in the Congo? That the Bongos will accept you? They are much cleverer than you and (sweeps a metal hook into San Pedro’s mouth due to mumbling a lot), without my authorisation backed by Tarzan, you will not survive longer than it takes to shit yourself in fear.’
Macho – Uga Uga – lekker lekker, hah hah, good boy, paw.’
Bingo – What do you expect in the Congo? That the Bongos will accept you? They are much cleverer than you and (sweeps a metal hook into San Pedro’s mouth due to mumbling a lot), without my authorisation backed by Tarzan, you will not survive longer than it takes to shit yourself in fear.’
Macho – Uga Uga – lekker lekker, hah hah, good boy, paw.’
Poncho – ‘What time is it? I think my Rolex has
stopped.’
Tracy – ‘Time for dinner. Your favourite – baked enemy brains in cocaine and
ecstasy sauce with pulped mammary glands.’
Mattress – (the only one with a little bit of brain left), ‘Pops, tell us about how you became King of the Bongos.’
Bingo, King of the Bongos – ‘It happened a long time ago.’
Stay tuned for the next exciting part….
Bingo explains how he grew up in the Congo and became King of the Bongos.
A musical break.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJMLJVha5swMattress – (the only one with a little bit of brain left), ‘Pops, tell us about how you became King of the Bongos.’
Bingo, King of the Bongos – ‘It happened a long time ago.’
Stay tuned for the next exciting part….
Bingo explains how he grew up in the Congo and became King of the Bongos.
A musical break.
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