1976.
He had just been fired for being constantly drunk at work
for pushing a broom around the yard backwards.
Besides the fact he had a wife and 7 kids, he took his last
pay packet to 'Shag 'a Bag' and invested it in shares of Carlsberg Elephant
beer. Extra strong - 7.3%.
Those were the good old days because on London bridge, there
was a red and glass phone box. Perfect.
It took some swaying time to work out pull rather than push and once inside the aroma of London, the great capital of the former empire, indulged his nostrils of vomit and piss. It missed the real end of the means.
The phone book, just rags of torn out paper from drug addicts rolling spliffs. The phone itself hung sadly down on a stretched wire. The box had been smashed open to expose innards of empty 50 pences.
Jimmy Bastard considered himself a gentleman. Phone home was for ET but 19 pints of extra strong and 12 packets of BBQ Walkers crisps need attention.
He could no longer wait. He stumbled, climbing on top of the drunken bum snoring away in a foetal position, surrounded by used syringes and, pulling his track suit trousers down just in time…
Sweat covered his forehead. He clutched at the hanging cables, his body shuddering as he defecated into the left ear of the useless bum on the floor. It poured out, 90% fluid of dead red and brain cells.
It took some swaying time to work out pull rather than push and once inside the aroma of London, the great capital of the former empire, indulged his nostrils of vomit and piss. It missed the real end of the means.
The phone book, just rags of torn out paper from drug addicts rolling spliffs. The phone itself hung sadly down on a stretched wire. The box had been smashed open to expose innards of empty 50 pences.
Jimmy Bastard considered himself a gentleman. Phone home was for ET but 19 pints of extra strong and 12 packets of BBQ Walkers crisps need attention.
He could no longer wait. He stumbled, climbing on top of the drunken bum snoring away in a foetal position, surrounded by used syringes and, pulling his track suit trousers down just in time…
Sweat covered his forehead. He clutched at the hanging cables, his body shuddering as he defecated into the left ear of the useless bum on the floor. It poured out, 90% fluid of dead red and brain cells.
The bum moaned; the telephone cell hummed.
At last, as Jimmy Bastard exited with a smile – little did he know that he was the first person to start Brexit.
The End.
At last, as Jimmy Bastard exited with a smile – little did he know that he was the first person to start Brexit.
The End.
No comments:
Post a Comment