Rhodie Tony hits the
roulette tables – big time.
For 40 years Tony had attempted
to buck the odds. From playing with his pocket money of 25 cents a week at
fetes with Crown and Anchor tables in Salisbury, Rhodesia – on to losing a month’s police pay at the Montclair
casino - a total loser.
But. This time he had the ultimate plan.
It is the 12th of August, 2019, when Tony looked at his bank account – not too good Tony!
Rhodie Tony needs a plan. (Typical Rhodie.) This was brilliant. He was going to take the Wiesbaden casino in lower Bavaria, Germany, to the cleaners – and get away with it.
First.
Need 30 kilos of lead- Sorted - pick it up at the local recycling depot. Being very malleable it is, (after a bit of warming,) fits nicely into the toe cap part of a size 49 steel tipped safety shoe. The right one.
Next. Second.
Some crutches. Easy-peesy. Pop down to local hospital, feign a limp, they give you a pair for free. They have shit loads. All for immigrants faking sickies so as not to be forced into some kind of labour, paying less than the handouts from the government.
Thirdly.
But. This time he had the ultimate plan.
It is the 12th of August, 2019, when Tony looked at his bank account – not too good Tony!
Rhodie Tony needs a plan. (Typical Rhodie.) This was brilliant. He was going to take the Wiesbaden casino in lower Bavaria, Germany, to the cleaners – and get away with it.
First.
Need 30 kilos of lead- Sorted - pick it up at the local recycling depot. Being very malleable it is, (after a bit of warming,) fits nicely into the toe cap part of a size 49 steel tipped safety shoe. The right one.
Next. Second.
Some crutches. Easy-peesy. Pop down to local hospital, feign a limp, they give you a pair for free. They have shit loads. All for immigrants faking sickies so as not to be forced into some kind of labour, paying less than the handouts from the government.
Thirdly.
Use a 7.62 x 51mm FN rifle
round that Tony, just happened to have from his Rhodie days. He was to pull the
projectile out the cartridge, pour the cordite into a pint glass of cheap
whisky – Drink
it 30 minutes before the plan kicked in. (He learnt that from watching that
film, Day of the Jackal.)
No 4 – the briefcase.
Had to look ‘Posh’, fake leather. No problem there, steal them for free at some bag shop, as the sales lady concentrates on her mobile phone showing a YouTube of immigrants getting shot by right wing radicals.
Tony just walks out with what he needed.
Filth – er - No 5 -
This isn’t Ocean’s 25 – this is the real thing. He needs 2500 in 50 Euro notes to make the plan work. Hit the credit card.
No 4 – the briefcase.
Had to look ‘Posh’, fake leather. No problem there, steal them for free at some bag shop, as the sales lady concentrates on her mobile phone showing a YouTube of immigrants getting shot by right wing radicals.
Tony just walks out with what he needed.
Filth – er - No 5 -
This isn’t Ocean’s 25 – this is the real thing. He needs 2500 in 50 Euro notes to make the plan work. Hit the credit card.
Sixth.
Cut up a large number of those mail box stuffed adverts advertising ‘Foster an immigrant - get a bullet proof vest for free.’
Cut them up to exactly the size of a 50 Euro note. Make a nice wad, genuine 50 Euro at the top, bind with plastic cable ties. Repeat till the inside of the brief case looks like a million.
Cut up a large number of those mail box stuffed adverts advertising ‘Foster an immigrant - get a bullet proof vest for free.’
Cut them up to exactly the size of a 50 Euro note. Make a nice wad, genuine 50 Euro at the top, bind with plastic cable ties. Repeat till the inside of the brief case looks like a million.
The plan is complete. Now to
pull it off.
Dragging, what looks like a serious ‘club foot’, Tony approaches the entrance to the Casino on crutches. In fact - he was in agony and felt very ill from drinking the whisky cordite mix.
Those on the entrance desk, just laugh as he shows a million Euros and wave him through.
Rhodie Tony heads for the men’s. Took him half an hour, dragging a foot weighing 30kg, dripping in sweat and feeling not very well. His body was twitching in some strange, spasmodic reaction.
But - Rhodies are hard core. First thing. Peel off the real 50s and fuck the briefcase along, with the cuttings out the window. Job done.
Next – Now comes the plan into reality.
Dragging, what looks like a serious ‘club foot’, Tony approaches the entrance to the Casino on crutches. In fact - he was in agony and felt very ill from drinking the whisky cordite mix.
Those on the entrance desk, just laugh as he shows a million Euros and wave him through.
Rhodie Tony heads for the men’s. Took him half an hour, dragging a foot weighing 30kg, dripping in sweat and feeling not very well. His body was twitching in some strange, spasmodic reaction.
But - Rhodies are hard core. First thing. Peel off the real 50s and fuck the briefcase along, with the cuttings out the window. Job done.
Next – Now comes the plan into reality.
Tony, drags himself to
nearest roulette table. ‘Club
foot’, reverberating,
his crutches hurting the back of his forearms.
The management pulls out a chair for him. After all – they think he was some old, sick millionaire. They were correct in the former description. Sadly, incorrect in the latter.
Rhodie Tony, pulls out all 2500 Euros, and dribbling and all just about incoherent – asks the croupiers to spread it at maximum on, and around the Zero.
The management pulls out a chair for him. After all – they think he was some old, sick millionaire. They were correct in the former description. Sadly, incorrect in the latter.
Rhodie Tony, pulls out all 2500 Euros, and dribbling and all just about incoherent – asks the croupiers to spread it at maximum on, and around the Zero.
He had no idea anymore. He had poisoned himself and his spasmodic ‘club foot’ again kicked and made the ball rise to hit a crystal chandelier, and plop neatly into – ZERO.
Ahh, now he swimming in dosh – instead paying off his credit card debts –
Well, who knows?
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