Thursday, January 22, 2026

12 Last of the Rhodesians: Chronicles of an African anarchist – The Gokwe Kid – Searching for Rhodesia 12

 


Journal 22.01.2026.

Sawa Camp, Nuweibaa, Sinai Peninsula, Egypt

 

6 days Barefoot through the Desert -  Eilat, Israel: Day One.. continued

 

As one approaches the twilight of one’s life, we sometimes wonder what is must be like to be old. Older than we are now but not that much older. How quaint it must be. To be so unaware of one self’s very own reason for existing, for it is no longer becomes a question - but an answer of -  no reason at all!

 

To have existed once knowing that eventually one will have as much reason as a cabbage patch doll, with a real rotting cabbage as a brain – to, perhaps, but highly unlikely, fathom the concept of becoming a badly leaking, wrinkled leather, rancid old sack of offal - sooner rather than later.

One would wonder then, that supposing there was another way to be able to look at oneself deep inside, and honestly acknowledge the fact that –

my feet are really hurting me now and I must present myself for the next inquisition, which –

Now pay attention here…because I am about to meet and greet a strange tribe at their back door, which coincidently enough has an entrance fee. There were four pretty girls in dark olive unforms and well lacquered nails, not like mine, for unlike these idle women whose interruptions from watching Tik-Tok videos made them glance up and nod towards another Fagan machine, my nails had become worn from rolling little tubes whilst exploring the mysteries of the cosmos – which was now being scanned.

Not a word was spoken in jest as here one could be shot if one has no inkling to how the chosen people’s mind works. I have been blessed with some of their quaint idiocies of only asking questions with questions that have no answer for if you do, they know you are a foreigner and easy pickings.

There is a row of fancy machines that read passports in the hall. But these are only for Israelis. But why so many? One would presume that if you want to invade another country it would be time consuming to have to scan your passport to come home.

 

People, such as myself, a rare thing in these parts, find themselves with no help at all and presenting oneself at a window of a cabin, from which a bearded man with a black round bit of cloth covers what must be a bald spot, on his head, takes my passport and asks if I have been here before. I said that I had indeed I had but via the front door in 1982.

Flicking through my passport, he asked where I was coming from, which was a reasonable question since I looked like a Shmil Shleper with no luggage besides a tartan rucksack.

 

Blah-de-blah and hey ho, of we go donkey driving except, the donkey transport was behind me in Egypt and before me was a white Mercedes – a TAXI driven by a very happy gentleman of my age who had never heard of Rhodesia and…

‘You should have seen this place ten years ago. Packed with tourists from Russia, from China, from Germany, from everywhere - but now it is quite. First was corona and then some trouble, now only the Israelis from up north come here, but it is winter now. A lot just come for the casino at the border.’

 

Aah, now I understand the amount of passport machines. I had been surprised to see the building just a few steps away from the ‘Welcome to Egypt’ sign.

 

He drops me off at my ‘hotel’, where I have a room the size of the one deathrow inmates have but with a fridge and a TV to watch YouTubes of ‘The History of Israel’, which I had a rather good idea of, but all I wanted was a shoe shop and an electronic shop for a set of headphones as – I had lost one of the NEW pair of buds, the right one, in the coming and goings between countries.

 

Dumping what little I had and, in my slops, wandered out past the prissy cleaner woman who had scowled at my greeting of ‘SHALOM my Mon Cherie and what a remarkable facial similarity to the school teacher in The Wizard of Oz you have.’

And just as nice and forthcoming as some loafer in the background muffling from a room next to reception that check-in is at 11.00am.

 

He, a shaved headed Russian Mafia type figure, did eventually arrive and present me the key at 50 Euro a night. I wandered onto the main street of this 57,000 people populated city (like fuck it is,) and rapidly come to the conclusion that Tombstone in Arizona had a lot more to offer and at a fraction of the price.



To be continued…

 


Monday, January 19, 2026

11 Last of the Rhodesians: Chronicles of an African anarchist – The Gokwe Kid – Searching for Rhodesia 11


 



Journal 19.01.2026.

Sawa Camp, Nuweibaa, Sinai Peninsula, Egypt

 

6 days Barefoot through the Desert -  Eilat, Israel: Day One

 

My first inclination that trouble was brewing for me was when I arrived at the border post of Taba, the exit from Egypt, and entrance into the ‘Promised Land’.

 

I had shared a ride with a non-smoking French Jew that had also stayed at Sawa Camp. Not the wailing, farting one, the other one. As the driver also smoked, democracy ruled…hah-hah. It was only a short ride of three spliffs and almost the entire Jesus album I was listening to via my earbuds called Cold Fact. A popular LP record that most Rhodesians had owned.

 

And, to add to HIS frog miseries, he got fucked over for  Egyptian 20 pounds for some bored border tosser to lick a stamp and put it onto the Exit card, which had cost us each the equivalent of…I can’t remember anymore.

I wasn’t asked for a ‘twenny’ because MY passport was unique! It is a BREXIT one. He had never seen one before. He must have heard the rumours and took it for granted that I was,

 

A. Thoroughly lost, worse than Moses ever was and B. judging by my demeaner and appearance I had been walking for 40 years in Moses’s shoes - each with a round pebble in them.

 

Sort of like, proving your love for God by beating yourself half to death with a sjambok, like those plonkers down the drag in Alt Ötting where – coincidently, I have to go when I get back, because I have to pick up my AUFENTSHALTITEL - presuming I survive this experience.

 

After being screened for potential weapons of mass destruction, I was about to have my own version, when with passport in hand, weeping in pain from those shoes, I realised with horror I could not afford to pay the Israeli Entrance fee. As the only person who seemed to realise that us two were the only ones doing ANY coming or going through this border post - the only activity was extracting money from wallets and I didn’t have one anymore.

 

Well, in my case – money belt, WHICH, it so happened I had left behind in Egypt…on the black rubber belt that feeds your sacks of weapons through a scanner box because they don’t have plastic trays which means you just throw everything, coats, jackets, money belts, sandwiches, a cactus named BOB, mobile phones etc, onto it.

 

How clever was that! Now I have to drag my sorry arse, howling in pain from my crippled feet, and say 70 Virgin Hail Marys that the Egyptian security personal were not on the phone buying bitcoins after being sent manna from heaven in the shape of a cheap, black, nylon money belt – Made in China and bought from TEMU.

 

The cards and cash contained therein would surmount to a very nice holiday in…

 

Egypt -  as what transcends in the next few days, is that the promised land of  Milk and Honey are available in bottles a lot cheaper in the un-promised land than the one, Moses, took 40 fucking years to get to, on enough false prophecies to make a tarot reader wince.

 

Now I am in limbo and key suspect in very confusing diplomatic row that was about to unfold. This is a lot more serious than when the Brits first arrived here, in Taba, in the days when Britannia ruled the waves, to find three ‘Police’ huts full of Turks threatening to shoot them.

 

I was concerned that it could be possible that this gathered crowd of officialdom were hopefully not followers of Faganism.  This cult name was first coined Faganism, by David Copperfield in his best selling book ‘Magic Wallets – Pick and Pocket What’s Not Yours’ , when he tells the story of a mythical person, Fagan, who could teach anyone how to prosper easily from others - with a guaranteed free trip on a converted slave trader ship to Australia should they be in any way apprehended whilst making a comfortable living.

 

However, the book is relatively outdated now as most wallets are digital, and can be hacked with ease, and there are no more free tickets to Australia, or Rwanda either.

But the crisis that unfolded was relatively clear to me. I was in a serious need to roll a doobie, but smoking was not allowed.

 

In theory, I had left Egypt. No doubt about that. I had just paid to do so. Now I can’t get back in because I have no money! I was doomed to spend the rest of my life between two terminals and unlike in the film with Tom Hanks, whilst I could plaster a wall, I hadn’t brought a trowel in my luggage. And, what was I going to eat or drink? Here were no McDonald’s around with half eaten hamburgers, cold French fries and buckets of ketchup sachets.

 

The scenario gets worse. I had planned for six days but not at war – which seemed to be breaking out amongst the Scanner men, the Immigration men, the Customs men, the Policemen and for all I knew, the local Ambulance men, whilst passing the money belt around and babbling in Arabic to each other. Presumably about how to split the spoils and dispose of the body – mine.

 

Eventually, as I happened to be the only person hanging around not in dark khaki/olive uniform, someone who looked smarter than the rest, asked in good English if this (holding out the money belt,) belonged to me?

 

Assuring that it was a possession that had been wrapped around my torso containing credit sized cards and coloured wads of paper, that whilst the cards bore my name, the banknotes did not.

 

I was asked to check if all the contents were inside as previously been before it went into the Fagan machine, which had now taken priority for scanning for things that killed people that money could buy.

 

Hah-hah, I wouldn’t have a sodding clue. As readers of my books may recall a similar incident that happened to me at Checkpoint Charlie during the Cold War in 1980.

 

In that incident I had, along with a very prissy East German border STASI bloke, had been astonished with the fact that when I emptied that money belt out for inspection, more money came out of it than I had declared was in it when I was visiting their piss-pot poor, peasant commie paradise of a Democratic Republic.

 

And, here in 2026, much to the relief of this person of obvious authority - that I wasn’t about to start another war with the Israelis by screaming that I am half-Jewish and the Gypsy Gyppo fuckers have stolen my life savings and hobbling to the entrance of THEIR side for help -I confirmed that it was, the money belt, presumably, had not been faganised.

 

It was now possible to attempt once again to enter the promised land…

BUT – I desperately needed my friend BOB!

 

What issues could now present itself? Would the great Gokwe Kid again have to use his formidable talents to overcome all obstacles that he himself has thrown into his own path of his own making.

 

Stay tuned…

Sunday, January 11, 2026

10 Last of the Rhodesians: Chronicles of an African anarchist – The Gokwe Kid – Searching for Rhodesia 10


Journal 11.01.2026.

Sawa Camp, Nuweibaa, Sinai Peninsula, Egypt


I expect an answer to my request to find me a shop from chatGPT later today. Although a simple request, it, like human intelligence, are prone to not having a clue about anything.

 

 Whilst I wait, I suddenly needed to, and wondered about it, and as such gave chatGPT another easy question. The answer is ambiguous…

    Question - What is the present estimation of greenhouse gases given out by humans in the form of burping and flatulence?

 

Source of Methane

Approximate Global Scale

Human burps & flatulence

~<1 million tonnes CH₄/year (very rough, not officially reported)


NOT officially reported??? And why is that? My present next-door neighbour in his shack, emits enormous amounts of methane during the night and especially at sunrise. He is an old Frenchman and leaves soon thank fuck, and he yowls for hours over a pray book, and I am downwind of his greenhouse emissions of flammable methane (see Youtube scientific experiment,) which are almost tuneful redemptions of Marche funèbre, which, under the expertise of a sound mixer such as Paul Oakenfold, would become a Club dance classic.


Whilst the winds of change are again storming the headlines with the instability of global markets, escalating geopolitical tensions, climate disaster, or the rise of uncontrollable artificial intelligence, I must suffer the appalling stench he emits whilst waiting for the wind to change and blow it away.


As activists around the world clamour for a reduction in gases causing the planet to heat up to the point that within a few years it will be possible to poach a couple of eggs at the North Pole simply by pulling your pants down to have a wazz, one does ask if, just for example, Gretzel Bumberg, realises that she and her attention-seeking hanger-ons are as guilty as the rest of us.


She does! THAT is because she refuses to fly as she knows that as the cabin is pressurised and depressurised the entire fuselage becomes a miniature greenhouse of trapped flatulence of various odours.


Pilots do have, as required by law, a panic button when the level of toxins reach above ‘flight sicknesses’ and releases oxygen masks for himself and the co-pilot but no one else as they are considered a waste of fresh air, and shareholders of the company would ask serious questions related to unnecessary overhead expenditures.


I know this because as I explained in a previous posting, the stinking old crone sitting in front of me in row 19 F, dropped her guts three times with such a magnitude that I tried unsuccessfully to get the overhead oxygen mask out its compartment, making me think there isn’t one in there at all – just smuggled cocaine from Columbia. Come to think of it – I would happily have a sniff of that.


And as such, since the success of my ground breaking Defibrillator Kettle, this entrepreneurial Rhodesian has come up with a Reversable Human Methane Prevention Kit.

 



Using materials and advise available during my up bringing in Rhodesia, I have created such a kit out of 100% organic stuff and includes the instructions of the usage there-of as given to me by my peers, friends, and family members from that time (1964-1978) in picture form. I sell them on Ebay for $200.00.


I personally have tried and tested this kit as I love animals and wouldn’t dream of buying  The Body Shop shares as that fad is now a lost cause.

Saturday, January 10, 2026

9 Last of the Rhodesians: Chronicles of an African anarchist – The Gokwe Kid – Searching for Rhodesia 9

 

Journal 10.01.2026.

Sawa Camp, Nuweibaa, Sinai Peninsula, Egypt

 

I am going SHOPPING –

 

First, I must make a list here. That way I can’t forget it at home. Unless I forget the telephone – tra-la-la – I’m a poet!

This morning there was no power! In my room.

‘Heaven’s forbid,’ I exclaimed, ‘What have I done to deserve no hot coffee with my first doobie of the day at 6.45am?’

This was just as the Saadian Mountains glowed from behind in front of me, in magnificent silhouettes, as the huge glowing, red and yellow orb of hydrogen and helium arose - that some arsonist had set a match to.

No answer. No problem. Rhodies make a plan. Using my Swiss army knife I stripped plastic coverings and boppa (joined) the bare wires of the 240 volt cable to an equally stripped USB C type cable and plugged it into my fully charged traveler’s battery pack. According to the picture on the back it has enough power to restart your heart.

 


Actually, the thing got a shock of its life when I turned the kettle on. ‘BOOM’, it said. ‘Aaaah…’ screamed the kettle – ‘Fuck me up the arse with a frozen stave,’ I screamed in astonishment at the amazing failure of my now cancelled plans to patent this new Rhodesian invention.

 

I then went to the seating area of the restaurant, horse whipped awake the sleeping staff and after ascertaining that they had Whiteman’s Magic called electricity, and I had two coffees and two doobies in a row and I felt as happy as can be.

 

I might add that one coffee is included in my inclusive packet which includes water, BUT I refuse to pay for the second coffee because it is not my fault that the Whiteman’s magic stopped working because you lot kicked all the Whiteys (Mukiwa or Masungu or Pommies,) out – just like you did with the Jews!! And you can replace my kettle and power charger.

 

Fat chance of that happening. Never mind, smoke another spliff, man – everything gonna be alright now…

 

SHOPPING. Due to fact that the local supermarkets are poorly stocked and with a small variety of next to nothing that any self-respecting Rhodesian would even attempt to decipher its contents, and I would recall how in the good old days I could go down to Kambasha’s store in Gokwe and stock up for bush patrol. Kambasha had EVERYTHING.

 

Even lots and lots of Willard’s crisps. I actually once, as in my first patrol, and lacking experience and intelligence, I filled my rucksack full of them. Two reasons. 1. Extremely light and would supply me with the necessary energy to drag my sorry arse through the bush for three days and 2. It would make a great pillow.

Sadly, on that very first night as I laid on my back in my fart sack, sobbing quietly to myself that at even with the daily $3.25cents Bush allowance it was a fucking hard job earning it, that idiot of a patrol leader whilst trying to plant a coil in the darkness, sat on my head!

The chip bags burst with a mighty BANG, that announced our presence to every Gook within a 50 km radios and Patrol Leader thinks he was victim of a surprise mortar attack, shat himself and I got the blame, and, I had to eat chip crumbs and nearly starved. That was 1977.

Such is progress because the shops here do have loads of packets of crisps and the locals and ignorant tourists throw the empty bags away to float on the wind and gentle lapping shores.

 

Shopping – I then typed the following into chatGPT.

 

Locate my location if you can because I am not sure, but it is somewhere near where Moses hung about for 40 years, and then, look for a shop as close as possible that can supply me with the following – soft nylon trainers and please fucking note that I am not interested in its carbon fucking footprint because they are made in China, and,

Small ear phones on wires because I WANT ones with wires because the Bluetooth doesn’t work on this laptop,

And a small packet of evaporated milk which means small, about 250ml and not any fucking giant cow’s udder you find on special offer, and…erm..

 

And, a big fat felt permanent marker pen in black so I can leave ‘TGK Was Here’ onto lumps of weathered artifacts of biblical and historical importance, and,

Bread. The plastic kind the English eat so that they all look like lumps of dough left in the rain for a week, but still edible. For a week - for humans after that you give it to the dog if you can afford to have one.

That is it for the moment.

NOW, pay attention, otherwise I may get cross at your answer and beat you with Moses’s hammer…

Calculate my budget at just below the internationally and who gives a shit, United Nations poverty level for humans. Take into account that this is not the same as existence level which lacks necessities such as food, water and a mobile phone. Those beggers offered a choice tend to pick the latter so as to call for more aid rather than get a job.

Include in this search the cost of transport in any motorised vehicle (NOT camels) to and fro of such shop, as listed in the independently verified and acclaimed book, recognised as being as about as accurate as the Old and New Testament - African and English Post-Colonial guide for Knockers and Scammers - page 43, Capital 12 -Transport. Adjust for the difference from car-jacking to friends, family and cronies, up to stupid white tourist.

 

Take also into account my age and the inability of the locals to learn even the most fundamental basics of my mother tongue. Under Queen Victoria there was none of that nonsense with the peasants. Just take the Chinese for example when the Brits fucked them over in the Opium Wars. They soon learnt what Chop-Chop meant. Now since the decline of that once great Empire, they think it means the speed of handouts.

 

IGNORE any stupid offers to have it delivered by drone within 24 years by the likes of Amazon dot whatever, after it has been approved by the Israeli Airforce.

 

Now I press enter and see what it comes up with…



Friday, January 09, 2026

8 Last of the Rhodesians: Chronicles of an African anarchist – The Gokwe Kid – Searching for Rhodesia 8

 

Journal 09.01.2026.

Sawa Camp, Nuweibaa, Sinai Peninsula, Egypt

 

 

WOOD -What is it good for…

 

A very spiritual man, made headlines not so long ago, for being condemned by the public for breaking a moral law.

 



In his defence he said that the spirit of the Lord (a 1.5 litre bottle of duty free Lord Gorden Gin he managed to shoplift at Edinburgh airport, because shopping lifting in Scotland is considered a lifesaving necessity - like masturbating - which you do for free,) and that the Lord had required him to make a sacrifice to prove his love of the stuff and take his like minded clan member of the Holy Church of The Dumb Fucked Duck pub (which is opposite the Job Centre on Benefit Street, everywhere in England,) and with the chainsaw he had found cheap in a pawn shop: cut down a tree.

 

A very sad story. Everyday people cut down trees. They have a reason for doing so and believe me, it’s got fuck all to do with spiritual spirality but with the fact if they the family will starve to death. It is a truth – from Pedro illegally logging for cartels, to sawmills to furniture, from charcoal for rich people’s barbecues to holding up mine roofs and supporting rail tracks – for centuries, wood put food on the table.

 

An executive in the office of an oil conglomerate may have a wooden desk, part of it is a piece that Pedro had cut down - which is exactly how the cosmos works, hence no Lord is putting food on the table. It is basic economics, stupid Greta.

 

BUT – here is the catch, these people in the huge chain linking wood to their lifestyles (whether legally or not, depending on who makes the laws,) don’t do it for a laugh.

 

Unfortunately, some people are like that and the modern world promotes it. Look at the front cover of that magazine again. I have adjusted it…

 

I love wood and I adore making things out of it.

Like a fire. And other things as well. Like a bonfire. Or a forest fire or an inferno perhaps. I tried most of that when I was a mukiwa in Africa.

 

What the fuck is a mukiwa? I had never heard of the word till Peter Godwin introduced it to the world. Whatever clan-slang he was using growing up in Rhodesia never drifted my way to Mount Pleasant, Salisbury. I have not a clue what the indigenous people called us. Us, as in, we of light skin tone – I just presumed it was Baas, Medem and pikininni Baas and Medem.

 

Well, thanks for that Peter, me old china. I am a MUKIWA – which is a lot better than being a MASUNGU. It is Swahili, I believe and I will not look it up so as not to spoil myself, as WHITE WORM! That is what the locals said to me when I drove through Kenya and Tanzania many years ago. (A story for another day.)

‘Masungu give!’ the irritating poor starving peasants constantly harassing you even if it was a short stop to drop a log out. Hands out begging.

‘Fuck off, go get a job chopping down trees, you lazy useless fucks.’ I would reply helpfully, tears in my eyes as I thought of their lives of swatting at flies at day and mozzies at night – which oddly, I am doing at this present time…

We had NON of that nonsense in Rhodesia. Begging was tolerated and acceptable because we hardly ever saw any because it was financially not very viable. I know this because when I volunteered to get shot at, the British South Africa Police paid me so little – I was the one doing the begging. With some success I might add…

 

Ooops, sorry, I went off on a tangent there – Rhodesians were taught at an early age to be aware of environmental conservatism. I mentioned this in Simply the Pest. This was because we were taught, quite correctly so, that if we want to be lazy, dirty, useless, brain dead rubbish dumpsters - we can quite happily go back to the motherland where the place is rapidly sinking under gigantic piles of stinking shite into the mud.

 

That put the fear of God into all of us because if that wasn’t enough, six cuts across the arse with a cane quickly drummed into your head that littering is a pain in the arse.

 

Now here I am in this desert and in a short discussion with the Baas Salama, the cost of wood is about the same as in Germany. A lot. My humble abode in Germany is surrounded by huge pine forests and there are more saw mills ‘just down the drag’, than bus stops. But most of the wood is exported to – USA!


The property here is scattered with started and ended huts. Business is bad, very bad. All along the coast are these camps. Half are derelict. Failed ventures and the fancier ones tittering financially. In the distance from where I sit, I see a huge project that was started pre-covid. That went tits up. Bloated ambitions.

 

And yet, Salama has a couple of grands worth of wood just lying there in the tip at the back. The planks and beams just need the nails removed and neatly stacked in approximate lengths and he has four employees whose major task in life is looking at their mobile phones.

And there must be tens of thousands of Euros worth of pine timber piled haphazardly on the plots of ‘dead’ camps. Because of the climate – no rot and dried to perfection. No future warping.

 



Oh, if only hey! Put me in charge and I would have shelves and cupboards and more tables for my temporary abode in no time at all. A swing in the sea, a jetty and a raft that I can go hammer fishing for hammerhead sharks…Fuck that for any of the other huts. They not my problem and he can fuck off charging me extra because MY pad is well sorted…

 

I use to do all sorts of wood work in the garden at my place in Bavaria up to recently for the pleasure of the neighbours, but I got sick of being kicked in the dentures so I don’t bother no more.

 

News Flash – BBC online today - Protesters can be heard in the footage calling for the overthrow of Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and the return of Reza Pahlavi, the exiled son of the late former shah, who had urged his supporters to take to the streets.

Next thing you know the Zimbabweans will be calling for my return to sort the place out. First task is to hang all the white skinned sell-outs. That includes the father of one of Prince Harry’s ex- jiggy-jigs. That Harry hey! He sure knows how to pick ‘em, ekse. Must have learnt that from his Uncle Andy.

Then we hang the black ones. They can go to the rope with that gentle reminder that by watching the white ones go first, they will always be second best and that is because if you want to be a corrupt, lying, back stabbing betrayer of your country (but keep family and cronies happy to be on the safe side,) you must take lessons from WHITE people who know how to do it properly. Donald Trump is a really good example.

Thursday, January 08, 2026

7 Last of the Rhodesians: Chronicles of an African anarchist – The Gokwe Kid – Searching for Rhodesia 7

 

Journal 08.01.2026.

Sawa Camp, Nuweibaa, Sinai Peninsula, Egypt

 

BOB IS ALIVE

 


Written this morning before I went for the walk…

 

And I awoke from a slumber of cured irritation for thus it happened that yesterday was one of misery…

 

I read this morning about advancements in quantum computing and how it can solve so many problems in the not so far future. Then can they please hurry up as I had problem and all the incredible technological advancements in this digital age had created it and has no idea what so ever how to solve it – to wit, I want to listen to my laptop showing a documentary film but because of Angie I need to use earphones and the ear phones use Bluetooth and my laptop can’t find it properly and when I looked for 6 hours on the internet, paying a fortune in roaming, it tells me to start here and I should end here but I actually land up at start here.

 

At the end of the day as the mozzies came out to suck my blood, I realised that my Rhodie training had mellowed somewhat with age. Just a few years ago I would have been of serious intoxication by then and would have fixed the problem real good with a hammer. That one Moses used.

 


I would of fixed that laptop so fucking good it would never, ever, ever - fuck me off again. I wouldn’t care that the thing was now utterly fucked. Dead! Game over china.

 

Of course, oddly, in the morn as the buzzing bloodsuckers go to bed with the Bedouins, I would need some painkillers for my head and wonder why a hammer is imbedded in my laptop.

 

But those days are gone for ever now. They can return if I down a bottle of fine, beautiful, dark, smoky Jamaican rum, but at the moment as I continue my quest, I preferred to get high and give up and sulk in bed ALL NIGHT – without any Bedouins.

 

Maybe, if I am lucky, Angie dearest said she had a pair she would happily give me. I would happily take both pairs – But, that would be pointless if both pairs are wireless.

 


I have remembered this time to bring plenty of reading material. On my Kindle I have Cosmos by Carl Sagan and the entire collection of the Flashman Papers.

Printed matter, I have Les Capoyo’s book , The Vally of Broken Souls.  I am about half way through. Set in 1800 South Africa. When I have finished it, I will comment, but to suffice to say it is light, easy reading.

Another is a small booklet I was given to by my extremely fucked up youngest son – Physics of the World-Soul Whitehead’s Adventure in Cosmology by Matthew T, Segall. Nothing big deal for me and must be read in small batches, otherwise I tend to go off in a tangent of reasoning.

 

The final bit of reading matter is a very strange one. I spotted it when I was waiting for the morning airport bus to pick me up from that hotel in Istanbul. It was amongst the multi-language books of brainless fodder on a rack of shelves where people leave books and magazines. This particular offering from 2025 seemed to just scream at me for attention.



I picked it up and instantly realised that everything I have ever read from Socrates to Sagan - all made sense to me and now in my hand was the proof. Basically, I know within  the proven scientific evidence of present time, where we come from and where we are going. Easy peesy – Job done.


That is the easy part but needed a lot of philosophical and scientific advancements of centuries to come to that conclusion.


All this accumulated knowledge also has a side-line that is very disturbing.  More or less, they predict that the human race is doomed unless the following is dealt with…

 


The list is comprehensive and (if that new neighbour doesn’t stop his fucking yowling as he reads from a prayer book in Martian, I will use my magic Moses hammer and sing Bang-bang Maxwell’s silver hammer went down on his head, Bang-bang Maxwell’s silver hammer made sure he was dead…,) and using the proof I have now obtained I will guide you through its contents and link anything I find that could have remotely anything to do with growing up in Rhodesia.

 

That sounds complicated, but it will soon come apparent.

***





Now I am back from the walk and knackered. Loads to tell you tomorrow but now I look online for an eVisa for… Israel. I am going to go there if all goes to plan in a few days time…

Wednesday, January 07, 2026

6 Last of the Rhodesians: Chronicles of an African anarchist – The Gokwe Kid – Searching for Rhodesia 6

 

Journal 06.01.2026.

Sawa Camp, Nuweibaa, Sinai Peninsula, Egypt

 




Stoned amongst the stones

 

That was interesting. Robbed blind at the local Ali Baba’s Supermarket for 17 Euros but get a free plastic bag - then the real Slim Shady (that was his name! Slim,) took us to a vertical crack in the earth. What was really cool is that I was in the back of a bakkie. I hadn’t done that for 20 odd years.



 


Very nice and I let Slim Shady and Angie go ahead to what was to be discovered as a dry water hole and I squatted down and chilled. Fuck that for a lark, another 40 min hike – no chance.

 

After some pic taking and reading some more of a book that reminded me of Africa, now well stoned and cool trance vibes at max blasting me through the earbuds, I eventually returned to the bakkie.

 

Slim took us a bit down the drag and made some tea. Small talk consisted of Angie telling us about fields of poppies full of opium bulbs and he informed us how the rich Egyptians buy very black Sudanese woman to work for them.

 


Next to no tourists, thank God, but he could do with smiting the ones down with that hammer for dumping chocolate wrappers and empty plastic drink bottles.

 

All in all, pretty gob smacking and would have been even better with a line of smack snorted up my nose, but stupid Angie, besides not knowing the name of the plant, didn’t bring a couple of kilos back from where ever that was.

 


Slim is a Bedouin. That is the kind of Arab that stays in bed all day and all night, unless they get a chance to scam a tourist – because he yowled and ballyhooed at the amount Angie and I gave him – 16 Euros. Well, he moaned to her in the driving cab, but said fuck all to me when we got back. I would have told him to go and get his cut from his mate at the supermarket.

 

All in all. Great fun.

 

Monday, January 05, 2026

5 Last of the Rhodesians: Chronicles of an African anarchist - The Gokwe Kid – Searching for Rhodesia 5

 

Journal 05.01.2026.

Sawa Camp, Nuweibaa, Sinai Peninsula, Egypt

 

Is this not the total hammer!

 



My daddy in Rhodesia once bought a hammer. He bought it from Mr Jones’s hardware shop at Mount Pleasant Shopping Centre. It was called a claw hammer. I do not know why it was called that because it had no claws on it. I knew what claws were at the age of six when the cat tried to claw my eyes out.

 

This was a fancy claw hammer. Not like the wooden one Daddy had broke driving a six-inch nail into my head to try and knock some sense into me. I was 7 at the time and was told many times that I had a thick head. After a week he thought that maybe he should pull it out but he would need a claw hammer.

 

This cost a lot of money trying to make me think and at 13 dollars, I better be worth it. It had a shiny round chrome handle with a black rubber grip. The head was round and at the back was a bit of curved metal with a V cut into it.

Daddy tied my head to the washing line post and placing the V onto the nail head till it fitted tightly, my Daddy heaved with all his might. A strange thing happened. Always strange things happen to me because the shaft where it met the head bent right over! How about that! The round hitting part was now almost jammed tight against the shaft and it took some real tugging to get it off and the nail hadn’t moved at all! How about that hey!

 

Daddy dragged me to the shop and demanded money back or a new hammer. Mr Jones looked oddly at me and turning to my daddy said

‘I am not at all surprised. You should have loosened it a bit with a crow bar first.’

‘Daddy,’ I said wisely, ‘Did you know that crows have claws also. Can they pull the nail out as it has given me a headache and I don’t feel very clever at all.’

 

The new hammer worked and today is hammer day because I used one. (Not on Angie. She was nice to me today. Tomorrow we are going into the desert for lunch…) I approached the owner Salama and explained I wanted to rip up the carpet on the veranda floor and nail it to the side where the wind blows in. (The other was temp. I intend to make it better.) and he told me I need wood and hammer and nails and he send some of the people who work for him eventually when he can awake them from a 24/7 hour stupor from doing fuck all - all day.

 

‘Salama, please, I am the famous Gokwe Kid and an expert in scavenging amongst building rubble like you have stashed at the back, and bless the little sleeping fuckers, but I am a real hard ass Rhodie and have driven many a nail in, with or without Viagra, and quite capable doing it myself. Thank you kindly, dear sir.’

 

‘But you will need a hammer and nails and wood.’

 

‘Never fear, TGK is here my dear old china, look…’ And there in my sack was a small pile of 3-inch, light rusty brown, used nails and…YES – a hammer! And what a hammer it was indeed.

He was duly astounded and offered me the position of co-owner for a small investment. Nah, not - really.

The hammer and nails worked a dream and all very professionally done.

The hammer my daddy got was made in…China.



The one I used has seen much in its life. Jewish slaves chipping at stones for pyramids, bloodied from caving in Phoenicians’ heads, stolen by Moses to land up here where I am at the moment (I kid you not. Go look it up. Read carefully how he managed to part the sea for 25km and an amazing over a kilometre deep water - with this very hammer,) for me to find. It is surely a sign…