The pointlessness of it all

The pointlessness of it all

I was in a supermarket shopping yesterday. Oddly, only penniless bums go into a supermarket to view at food they cannot afford but try a little thieving and snick by the till.

Then… there I was, pushing my trolley (my brain), whilst pushing a supermarket trolley – when…

Whack – a terrible pain in my Achilles twins. I fell to the floor, screaming – like as

‘Ahhh, fuck, ahhh, Jesus, I am crippled – oh the pain… etc etc,’, because some complete jerk had DELIBRATLY, rammed HIS trolley into my tendons that attach the back of my feet to the front of them.

I rolled over from my front to my back, and stared into the eyes of my antagonist.

The little shit must have been about 7 years old. Ugly fucker, he just grinned at me. His mother laughed.

Well…

RAGE HARD.

So…

What do you do? What do you do?

I repeat myself – WHAT DO YOU DO?

You have two options -

1. German style.

Scream head off for manager. Writhe all over the floor in agony, shouting for lawyers and compensation running into millions, call the police and ambulance – shout out words like- ‘Nazi racist bastards… ahh, … I am dying – get the BBC and SKY News live as die on the shop floor…’

In other words – a load of crock.

Option 2. Rhodesian Style.

(For the soft hearted- a warning. The following may contain contents of extreme violence and graphic scenes of child molesting.)

a. Stand up, with just upcoming bruises on the heels, pick up a crate of beer – swing it above head and drop mother, comatose to the floor.

b. The ugly grinning kid – (now he not grinning too much – after seeing his mother having her head smashed in – in fact he is pissing himself, with urine – not humour) -

‘I will rip your head off and make you eat your own flaccid penis, you little shit head. You will never reproduce your mentally degenerate genes.’

(Of course – this speech is impossible in English – so I kept it into basic German – ‘Du kleine scheisse – ich bringt dich um’ – which means ‘You little shit, I will kill you.’

I grabbed a handful of Cadbury’s eggs. Those ones with toys in them that the kids must make something out of them.

Holding down the little shit – I forced fed him enough for him to shit toys for a week.

The End.