I don’t want to be a paki

I don’t want to be a paki.

 A book review.

 By James Gee Huppstead. The Times literature critic.

In this amazing novel consisting of nothing more than the title, the author explains why with three hundred pages of blankness he ends the last page with two words – The End.

I interviewed him yesterday as he lay on the floor moaning in a self-made soup of regurgitation.

I asked him – Why do you not want to be a paki?

His reply – ‘I feel ill. Please take off your shoe so I can vomit in it. Had a bad pint last night.’

Mr Greenberg, I am not here to have you vomit in my shoe. Please explain – why you did not want to be a paki?

He arose from the floor and flicking snot onto the window – replied-

‘Fucking bitch, fucking fuck bastards at, hic, fucking jerk off centre, cut me fucking dosh, the fuckers and fuck me, me fucking peesed and the fucking fuckers got me a job at amazon packing fucking shit for dumb fuckers but meant I gotta get up every day – fuck em. I would rather starve than be a paki.

Greenberg’s book – ‘I don’t want to be paki.’ Is presently at number 1 in the New York Times best seller list.