I finally grew up

I finally grew up

Just before I turn 60 – someone who will remain nameless and if I get hold of her will become faceless -

Said to me- well, not quite, I had to read the text. You can’t hear letters- said to me
‘Grow up and get a life’ she said to me.

I thought about this all-night long. It was a long night. Nights get shorter in summer and longer in winter so I had to fly to the Falkland Islands to get a really long night to think about.

And I thought -

Why have I flown all this way to sleep on a thought all night long?

I digress.

So, before I turn 60 – I will grow up and get a life.

Besides the fact I have just been banned from Facebook for three days for doing nothing wrong -

Here, and NOW – is your NEW TGK posting.

Hello TGKers.

How are you? I am fine.

Here is a picture of my cat.

Here is a picture of my knob - of button I will spread on my bread.

Today I will pass urine in the toilet.

Perhaps I will even pass a stool.

It is a nice day today. It is not raining. The doves are cooing makes me think I should do some pooing.

I have put on weight. Stepped on the scales with my bovver boots. When I took them off I was 5 kilogrammes lighter.

What will you do today? I will look at Rhodesian themed sites and share pictures of cats and dogs and ugly grandchildren.

At 10.00 am – I will masturbate and come on time to make some scones and tea for my imaginary visitors in my head.

Politely I ask – What have you have for plans today? I am really interested.
At midday, I will take a battery powered chain saw and amputate some illegal immigrants head and claim the reward.

I do hope you have a nice salad  in the sun with your son’s and daughter’s offspring from your loins genetically.

I am so sorry for this boring posting – but this is the new TGK.

After lunch – I will attempt to rape the next-door neighbours wife. I have tried before but her husband killed me, not once – but twice. Three times for the lady.


Between 1.00 pm and when the fridge gets empty- I will study my palm and wonder why my elbow aches.

Please tell me what you intend do this afternoon. I am so interested that I will take all day off to listen to you and look at your pictures of cats and dogs and ugly grandchildren.

Later – I will go and make a huge fire and dance in it.

Till I am dead.