Jane Bond

Jane Bond

Mr and Mrs Bond wanted a son but got the opposite and named her Jane.

Jane was to be trained to be a spy in MI5 or 6 or 7. Her parents were not that bright and Jane was an imbecile.

At the age of 15, both her parents were murdered by a Muslim madman and Jane was put into a home for useless idiots.

Jane then met Erich. He was stupider than her but had a massive phallus that worked and filled Jane's womb with the next generation of useless taxpayer’s hang alongs.

Jane threw the baby in the bin and sent her CV to MI 5,6 and 7. She wanted to be a spy.

They in turn realised they had won a mango.
Not only was the dumb bint drop dead gorgeous, but thicker than shit. The perfect spy.
Easier to train than a blind person's guide dog - she was taught parrot style Russian.

Kicked out one night from a low-level reconnaissance flight, she landed up in Valadamir Penismonsterski's garden.
He thought this was manna from heaven.

He took advantage of her.
They got married and lived happily ever after and MI 5,6, or 7 never heard a peep from her.