The Rhodie man who fell to the tarmac.
This happened in 1976. Just outside the Avondale Vistarama, Salisbury, illegal Republic of Rhodesia, Central Africa, planet Earth, Solar system, Milky Way, the Universe.
Why the long address? – because…
18 year old, Stanley ‘the knife’ Tosser, went with his present squeeze (53 year old art teacher, widow Knockshop), to watch the David Bowie film – ‘The man who fell to Earth’. I mean – even an alien needs directions, because GPS had not been invented yet.
Stanley was dressed for the night out in fine Rhodie style. Sweat stained camo T’shirt and a pair of khaki shorts from when he was 15 years old. Complete with a stolen Allan Wilson belt because he had actually been expelled from Ellis Robbins for being too stupid for his own good.
Of course, the tight fitting shorts showed a fine pair of bronzed legs, and a perfect humping ass, and the bulge in the front proclaiming to all humanity - that even when in sleep mode most gays would write him Valentine cards.
Well swilled up on Castle beer and his aging shagbag snoring away through the first part of the film – Interval came.
Stanley, hit the bar first and came back with 10 bottles of golden amber. Half way through the second half with half consumed. He fell asleep and urinated. Now THIS is when things get a bit sticky.
His body temperature started to dry the shorts and steam arose, blocking out the view from those sitting behind them, but they didn’t care as most were just randy couples playing finger bowls and gear sticks.
When the film ended, Stanley realised he had a terrible pain below his midriff. He could hardly walk and was supported by widow Knockshop outside, when
‘Stanley, your testicles… they are hanging out both sides of your shorts and your bum is eating them!’
‘My bum is eating my testicles. Eish – what a bummer.’
‘No man. Ekse, your bum is eating your shorts and strangling your one eyed cobra.’
Stanley screamed in agony, hit the deck and broke his neck. And died.
The End.
This happened in 1976. Just outside the Avondale Vistarama, Salisbury, illegal Republic of Rhodesia, Central Africa, planet Earth, Solar system, Milky Way, the Universe.
Why the long address? – because…
18 year old, Stanley ‘the knife’ Tosser, went with his present squeeze (53 year old art teacher, widow Knockshop), to watch the David Bowie film – ‘The man who fell to Earth’. I mean – even an alien needs directions, because GPS had not been invented yet.
Stanley was dressed for the night out in fine Rhodie style. Sweat stained camo T’shirt and a pair of khaki shorts from when he was 15 years old. Complete with a stolen Allan Wilson belt because he had actually been expelled from Ellis Robbins for being too stupid for his own good.
Of course, the tight fitting shorts showed a fine pair of bronzed legs, and a perfect humping ass, and the bulge in the front proclaiming to all humanity - that even when in sleep mode most gays would write him Valentine cards.
Well swilled up on Castle beer and his aging shagbag snoring away through the first part of the film – Interval came.
Stanley, hit the bar first and came back with 10 bottles of golden amber. Half way through the second half with half consumed. He fell asleep and urinated. Now THIS is when things get a bit sticky.
His body temperature started to dry the shorts and steam arose, blocking out the view from those sitting behind them, but they didn’t care as most were just randy couples playing finger bowls and gear sticks.
When the film ended, Stanley realised he had a terrible pain below his midriff. He could hardly walk and was supported by widow Knockshop outside, when
‘Stanley, your testicles… they are hanging out both sides of your shorts and your bum is eating them!’
‘My bum is eating my testicles. Eish – what a bummer.’
‘No man. Ekse, your bum is eating your shorts and strangling your one eyed cobra.’
Stanley screamed in agony, hit the deck and broke his neck. And died.
The End.
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