Saturday, January 26, 2019

The short history of the first thalidomide sufferer to become a triathlon athlete and the consequences.

The short history of the first thalidomide sufferer to become a triathlon athlete and the consequences.

As we know – that is serious stuff. 2 clicks swimming, 120 click on a bicycle and then a full blown marathon.

Edward Griffin, of Brisbane, UK, was not deterred by his handicaps of having no arms or legs but large ears. These he trained for the swim.

Using a 3D printer he built plastic sticks to screw into his arse to pedal the bicycle and wheels to bolt onto his hips for the marathon.

With sponsorship from ‘Kon the Kents’ gambling and ‘Nick his Shoes’, when the great day arrived, Edward was well fired up and as the starting gun fired, he rolled with all ears flapping into the water and promptly drowned.

He will not be sorely missed as most people had other things on their minds – such as Brexit.
However his death did not go in vain because in a dictated will he donated his body to research on the hunting habits of great white sharks.

His corpse chilled out to stop it rotting and stinking, the late Edward was shipped to South Africa.
The great white, great white shark fisherman, Jannie Van Volkswagen, went out on his boat, stuck a giant meat hook through Edward’s dead head till it came out his anus, and tossed it overboard attached to half a kilometre of 3mm stainless steel wire.

Now – what happens next is a YouTube sensation. It goes viral… because-

Six months later, a head set web cam washes up on the shore and found by a nasty piece of work nickname on YouTube as ‘NPoW’. He posts the contents. With 27 million hits, it is considered almost as funny as the genuine footage of the Titanic sinking!

There is lots of blue sky, screams, rear of the boat being dragged under, more screams, a quick flash to the cabin and a rifle, more screams, water pouring into the rear, visible a rifle barrel, shots, more screams, shaky footage of the front off the boat now perched horizontally in the sky, more sky, more screams – silence.

In conclusion – it serves both of the idiots right.

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