Saturday, July 13, 2019

The short history of Adam Pollit's life.

The short history of Adam Pollit's life.

Adam was brought up in a middle class family.

On the left of the caravan park were rich people, on the right was a slum full of African migrants.

He went to a good school.

It was classified as good, as only one teacher a month was stabbed to death by a pupil.
He liked maths. was quite good at it.

After leaving school he decided to become a self employed accountant.
The problem is that self-employed accountants are similar to whores - ugly and boring and only after your money.

Clever to con enough idiots out of some serious dosh, at the age of 35, he was still a virgin, never paid for sex, never had a girlfriend and lived on baked beans, a slice of toast and a boiled egg.

Which meant he suffered from severe flatulence.

It was a rainy day and Adam was waiting for the 69 bus.

The 69 bus has an appalling history of killing people. Drivers would cause a riot if picked to drive the route that ended in Trafalgar Queers.

It seemed every loon managed to get run over at one stop or another.
The Mayor of London actually contemplated cancelling the service. Hardly any 'normal' people took it because of the constant delays of squashed bodies, brains splattered on windows and other gory stuff.

So... just as the bus pulled into the stop, dead on time - 17 minutes late -
Adam had a huge, and huge -
gaseous explosion from his anal food rest abstracter.

According to the police report, three witness also at the bus stop, (in hospital recovering from severe methane poisoning), that -
the pavement was wet. Adam had an open umbrella and the force of his own wind and natures wind
pushed him direct into the path of the 69 bus.

Yawn.. the usual happens. Loads of screams, squealing brakes, brains on the windscreen, guts hanging off exhaust pipes, skin and meatless bones crushed under back tyres.

And some serious pissed off customers for not keeping his appointments.

The End... But wait - there are more incidents coming with bus number 69.

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