Dr. Rhodie Tony’s Prevention and Cures against Covid 19 –
Ten Ways.
Rhodie Tony went through medical school in the twenty minutes it took him to design and print out a certificate from Harvard University - Cambridge, Massachusetts with a Ph.D. in psychology. This qualified him to set up a small website and cash in on some laughs.
www. catastophiccoronacures.com
1. Washing your anus with warm soapy water after defecating will save having to panic buy 2000 rolls of toilet paper. The Arabs have been doing it for centuries (albeit with cold water and no soap), and none of them got the virus until they switched to Western loo paper.
2. Eating several complete bulbs of garlic will help - as no one will come within a mile of a breath that could kill a vampire on the spot.
3. Massive consumption of Corona beer will make the virus leave your body in buckets of sweat.
Rhodie Tony went through medical school in the twenty minutes it took him to design and print out a certificate from Harvard University - Cambridge, Massachusetts with a Ph.D. in psychology. This qualified him to set up a small website and cash in on some laughs.
www. catastophiccoronacures.com
1. Washing your anus with warm soapy water after defecating will save having to panic buy 2000 rolls of toilet paper. The Arabs have been doing it for centuries (albeit with cold water and no soap), and none of them got the virus until they switched to Western loo paper.
2. Eating several complete bulbs of garlic will help - as no one will come within a mile of a breath that could kill a vampire on the spot.
3. Massive consumption of Corona beer will make the virus leave your body in buckets of sweat.
4. Men only - Wear a condom and avoid kissing the whore when
bucking one in the handicap toilets of ‘The Nag Gives Head’, pub. If she is
showing the symptoms, demand a 30% discount.
Ladies - pop your gigolo in a 57c degree bath full of Dettol
for 40mins before having some fun.
5. Get rid of your
parents, and grandparents if aged over 65, as they are filthy carriers. Insides
rotting away which the virus greedily eats from, then they reach out to
siblings in mouth dribbles and snot sneezing. Explain that suicide is painless
and pop them off to Switzerland on a one-way Easy Jet ticket to Switzerland.
6. Cough down the phone to your Boss, pull a quarantine sickie, hang up a notice on your door, pack your glad rags and fly to Jamaica. Virus free as Covid 19 can not procreate in bodies loaded with hash and cocaine.
7. Cash in your pension, buy a decent tent and set up home on the South Pole.
6. Cough down the phone to your Boss, pull a quarantine sickie, hang up a notice on your door, pack your glad rags and fly to Jamaica. Virus free as Covid 19 can not procreate in bodies loaded with hash and cocaine.
7. Cash in your pension, buy a decent tent and set up home on the South Pole.
8. Find someone with the chronic illness. Exchange bodily
fluids, nearly die, recover and now immune.
9. Walk around
wearing a Darth Vader mask making that heavy breathing noise. The virus is shit
scared and will not come near you.
10. This is proven to work – Keep Calm and Carry On.
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