Thursday, January 05, 2017

The greatest tenderized game on Tennis twist – ever : Part 2

Tennis Twist   Part Two.
With the chicken now hanging down, trussed like a chicken – I gave it a whack with the half strung, stringed tennis racket. Backhand.

It, the chicken, was a bit surprised and flapped something of velocity veracity, whilst making a hell of a cackling din about not wanting to be dinner.

Steph countered with a fab forehand.

And so it went on for a good five minutes. Forehand against backhand - till we were knee deep in feathers. I called time for a break and we supped on Coca-Cola.

The chicken  still flapped a bit on the end of the chord. It sort of cackled quietly – as if it awaited its fate of crispy skin.

Phineus inspected our work -

‘Very good Karl, but it still has its head and guts. How do you propose to sort that problem out?’

I looked at Steph, she looked at me.

‘Phineus , have you a machete and a knobkerrie stashed away for that time, come the revolution, when you and your half tamed savages decide to hack us whiteys to death and bludgeon the brains out of our children. If so, can I borrow them for a moment to sort out this dinner?`

‘Ahh, little white Bwana Karl. But of course. But be careful, the machete is very sharp.

Ì handed the knobkerrie to Stephie.

‘Steph, whack it counter clockwise. Keep smashing it, till it is in full swing. When it reaches parallel to the earth, I will disengage its head, and then you whack it again and I will disembowel it.’

And so it was such, and covered in blood, intestines and giblets, I presented Phineus with the most tenderized chicken of all time. I had to go home.

As I left, a strange thing occurred. Phineus followed me to the garden gate and as I mounted my bicycle, he said -

‘Karl, come the revolution, I know that you will fight. You will not die. I have sent out the word – for you are blessed as the ‘Penga One’ . It is not allowed in our culture to hurt such a person.’

Having not a clue what the half baked savage was on about, I went home.

Of course – now with hindsight – it was the beginning of the Legendary Gokwe Kid.

Karl Greenberg

BA (Hons) Open (Open)

Dip LCW (Open)
Cert Hum (Open)
Author of the cult classics – Last of the Rhodesians - Chronicles of an African Anarchist
The Gokwe Kid and Simply the Pest
(Available worldwide on Amazon)

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