Journal – 12.03.2026 – Present location
– Shields Negril Villas, Negril, Jamaica.
It’s life – but not as I know it…
Which of course is the crux of the matter.
After all, you judge your life style, whether it is by choice, compromise or
not at all, and compare it to others. From the observation you reach
conclusions. That is the dangerous part of the human psyche.
Those conclusions bring up all sorts of conundrums.
All tend to swing like a pendulum between good, bad or mediocre as to
everything that dictates your present state of existence.
As in - being a pathetic looking, stretching
epidermis bag of water wallowing around moaning away about its
sorry lot, whilst it complicated innards soon start to rot once its beholder attempts
to reproduce itself.
It is the mediocre part that for some
people is not good enough. This is known by intelligent people as ‘I can’t be
arsed with this boring shit – it is time for adventure.’
The ‘I’ bit, is of course – ME.
Quite some adventures indeed – just missed
missiles in Abu Dabei, re-animating pensioners in Thailand, so as not to spend
a few years learning Thai in prison for manslaughter, conned, cursed, cussed,
cowboys everywhere and I haven’t even got to the USA yet, plastic beaches, gutters
and causeways, lethargic blankness, poverty and its opposite – and the bits in
the middle – that is, oddly, the part I find fascinating…
airplane food on a Swiss aircraft, its
contents explained by a stewardess whose linguistic ability in either German or
English was astounding in it its utter unintelligible gibberish -pushhee, putin
(PUTIN, that is turkey in German), pussy, posse, poo-soup and I lost my temper…’WHAT
IS THE NAME OF THE DEAD ANIMAL.’ –
‘Huhnchen’.
‘Chicken?’,
(I had seen the alternative- grandly
described as ‘vegetable noodles’ that looked just like mopani worms in a Martians
dark green, vomited up bile sauce)-
I ask suspiciously. I have had enough of
this fuck up of an airline called Edelweiss. They using Zurich as a hub.
My connecting flight…ahh, it was only when I checked in that I found out how
this clown outfit runs its dodgy trips.
Dig this – 3 onboard tickets. One for
Munich to Zurich (drinks only for business class) the next…Oh dear, I have to
get out at Punta Cana in the
Dom. Republic, where, grab a load of this bullshit…
Everybody out, get scanned, walkabout to
land up on the other side of a glass door that you could of just used to get
into the waiting lounge but it gives half a dozen loafers some kind of a job,
and if you want a smoke, not a problem, go to the VIP lounge, which is in the
cellar, for 20 US bucks, then get back on board the same plane but different ticket
with different seat and not the one I paid an extra 110 euros for,
and the so-called breakfast snack went the
same way as the dinner on the plane before (which is the same plane hey, it
gets topped up a bit with tourists who are going home via Jamaica!)– out of the
proverbial window as I wouldn’t feed the shit to a starving dog,
plus, we all well over two hours late,
less a few poor fuckers who somehow got confused in Zurich because the same
plane was coming in but no one knows why it is late (maybe dodging drones) and
such chaos in Zurich they asking people to put their hand luggage in the hold
because the machine is chock a bloc and just a teenie-weenie bag with a very smart
label saying it can go under the seat, whilst it turns out there is plenty of
space…in the pay extra bit,
and, I wish, just to point out, that since
hand luggage usually contains electronics such as laptops, tablets, rechargeable
loud speakers, power charges and other forbidden things with batteries, that
was no longer an issue, and off we go, but not before they have to rummage
through the cargo hold for checked luggage from no-shows, because they died
waiting for information,
and
when you land eventually at your destination after managing to email your
travel agent, which it isn’t - because it is like an airport hub…hah hah, (comparison
site) and told to get a room for the night since I have missed my transport to
the booked place that …
I should have checked in before 8.00pm that
is now day before (hah-hah, crazy shit), I am trying using the wi-fi at Zurich
to phone the place in Jamaica and send an email, since my booking firm who has
taken off me some serious dosh the last few months, can’t be arsed, and since
the Shields Negril Villas Facebook site has not been updated since 2021,
I was forced to ask chatGPT if the fucking place exists or destroyed by
Hurricane Mellisa, October 2025), and…
In Jamaica and the certified taxis
at the airport, Montego Bay, sadly have drivers who charge what they like and
sadly has no receipt book for a taxi ride that, according to the website was
only 2 km from the airport which took an amazing 45 minutes and 60 US (night
shift charges), whilst being offered a variety of drugs for sale,
so
as you can claim the money back, and sadly the room you have paid 110 US for is
sadly to be vacated chop-chop later in the morning (it being 2.00am now and with
the time warp I am on 30 hours without sleep), because the receptionist, come
cook, bottle washer, cleaner and key holder of hi-security gates to a one story
house…, is off home.
As she has arranged a taxi to take her to
the bus stop, I get the kind gentleman to drive me to, what hopefully will be
my accommodation for a month, for 120 US, which, sadly, again receipt books are
in short supply but a bit of paper with a scribble must suffice. The paper we
get from the receptionist/manageress of Shields Negril Villas, who
apologised for not hearing her phone ring and hardly ever checks emails, and…I
am in for a lot more surprises…
Welcome
to Jamaica…MON – but, of course…there is more, much more to tell.
PS.
I understand it now. The bit of chicken lying in some sort of white sticky goo
plastic processed mash potatoes, can have its quality upgraded by pronouncing
it in fucking FRENCH- I looked it up…
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