Zimbabwe : Weapon of Mass Destruction is Found!

Finally it has happened. As the west had predicted, a tin pot tyrant would eventually get his hands on a weapon so powerful, that millions of innocent people would die long suffering deaths.

More destructive than your average atomic bomb, this weapon is simple to operate and amazingly can be used again and again, so long as it s supplied with basic raw materials easily available world wide. The most alarming fact is that it was the west who gave Zimbabwe the technology in the first place!

What is so sinisterly clever with this weapon of mass destruction is the subtle way it works. Once the weapon is activated and left to operate, spewing out its deadly pile, there is little any one can do to protect themselves. Many flee, risking life and limb to escape too another country. There they struggle to exist and send what they can back to relatives slowly dying back at home.

Why, you may ask, has no western government reacted, like they did in Iraq?

This is because the Government of Zimbabwe is very clever. This weapon is designed only to kill its own people. Slowly but surely those that are trapped in the land succumb to its deadly affects. Since the bomb was activated seven years ago, like cancerous tumours the deadly stuff just grows and grows. Only the elite, those that started the weapon, are still immune, but some fear it has become like a Frankenstein monster, running amok and out of control.

Many experts predict that the weapon will self implode at any moment, but rumours abound that should this happen, a new updated version would replace it with a modern digital version capable of printing a million bearer cheques with a million dollar face value a minute and continue its destruction deep within the vaults of the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe.

President Robert Mugabe remains defiant and ridicules all reports of the country’s economic demise. At a recent speech at the funeral of a leading member of ZANU (PF) hierarchy (who had mysteriously decided to park his car on a railway crossing, just as the train arrived), the great liberator said,

‘The street beggars are still accepting sacks of Zimbabwe Dollars, so there is nothing wrong with the economy, stupid!’

He also added,

‘Our security forces have recently infiltrated a training camp for the off spring of Ian Smith’s Selous Scouts, who were intending to invade us. However we have successfully routed them.’

The film, showing this successful mission by ZANU (PF), whose emblem is the chicken, has been shown constantly on Zimbabwean television.