Thursday, July 05, 2018

The Best Seller - Ever

The shortest best seller ever written.

The Title -

I Predict a Riot

Karl Greenberg.

This Amazon best seller has sold out within minutes of it being published.

Considering the book contains 500 blank pages of 'fill in the shit as you make it up' - it has sold two copies. Both purchased by the author on a 'buy one get one free' con bullshit..

But - it is the introduction to this master pieces that actually has the book nominated for the Noble Prize of 'Setting Fire'.

This introduction is rather long considering the shortness of the contents of the book - but , please bare your breasts with me and I quote in its entirety -

'I stink - hence by knowing this I can think'

The End.

Sunday, June 03, 2018

When it comes to the crunch

Aggression? Not us Rhodies.

I was walking down a street one day.

Cannot remember the name of the street, but suddenly- I stood on a cockroach and it went - ‘crunch’.

I thought to myself - as it was pointless thinking to anyone else- ‘Don’t you crunch at me - mate.’

So I really stamped on it non stop. Till – it was very, very dead and had nothing to say for itself.

I walked away from the situation. I mean – a cockroach goes ‘crunch’, and you must put up with its attitude?

Nah. Only a true Rhodie can teach it a lesson it will never forget.

The End?

100% True. It happened just now.

I had a wash on. It was finished. I dragged it up and started to hang it all on a horse.

90% are socks and jocks – a few work T shirts.

So, I was lining up on the wires a row of underpants – when suddenly – it hit me…

I had finally hit skid row.


The Cricket Player – how he laughed

Bought them, 11 of them. Typical – they chirped away – expecting a quick test of their durability to all challenges.

Thrown into his terrarium, his pet tarantula pigged himself stupid.