Thursday, June 05, 2014

The Gokwe Kid and being duty Patrol Officer

Duty PO. Part 1.

Being duty PO in Gokwe for a week wasn't too bad except you were not allowed to go on the lash on Friday and Saturday nights down at the local 'whites only' 'Sports Club'. This was because you had to be fit and alert for anything that might happen during the dark hours that needed the expertise of a white police officer.

There were also some rather daft jobs to do as well. One included setting your alarm clock for three in the morning and check out if the black staff had posted alert guards all around the complex. At that time, you suddenly remember that you can't remember the password and it was a good chance your fellow constables might also have forgotten it.

So off you go, stumbling along in the dark, passing enough frightened flatulence to open up your own natural gas plant, when the dreaded noise comes -

“Halt, who goes by?”

I reply in terrified falsetto - “It is me, Don't shoot. PO Greenberg. I forgot the password!”

“Ah, PO Greenberg. It is okay. But very dangerous not to know the Password. Better you know it when you check out the others. Tonight's password is 'ZANU PF' ”

It took me a few seconds for this to sink in as the constable watched me carefully under the brilliant stars and half a moon.

“What the F? What madman thought that up? You can't go around replying to - 'Halt who goes by?' and say 'ZANU PF' ! It could get me killed!”

A rather shiny set of perfect white teeth appeared in a very black face in a smile. “I am joking Sah. The password is really ' Smart Aleck'.”

By now my befuddled brain was switching on a bit and I recognised the voice and going nearer confirmed it was my friend Sammy, who was now in fits of giggles.

“Very clever Sammy. I will get you back for this.”

After getting the proper password, I moved on. I don't recall ever beating him. His satire was better than mine...

(Sammy, plus a picture, is mentioned in The Gokwe Kid.)

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