Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Zimbabwe Is Not A Toilet!

Zimbabwe Is Not A Toilet!

By Nathaniel Manheru

The Zimbabwean Herald

In his recent speech on Independence Day, President Robert Mugabe turned his attention to a problem dear to his arse – the open sewerage swamping the streets of the towns.

‘This must stop, you bunch of overfed shitters!’, he ranted, waving his fist in the air like a demented homosexual about to clear a gardener’s tradesman entrance (something he had the late President of Zimbabwe, Canaan Banana, banged-up for). President Mugabe had finally given up on the cost of getting the drains cleaned because, as he discovered in a 2004 article from The Times (tad dated, but the man at 84 isn’t exactly a speed reader) -

‘I know you earn too much money because you use fancy paper to wipe away your excess greed’, he told a bemused mob busy fighting over the seven musty loaves and seven dried kapenta (a tiny fresh water sardine) that the ruling party had generously rustled up to get the peasants to come to the celebrations..

‘Those days are now over - the fancy bum-wipes block the drains! I will show you.’ His people having such an acute wish to be loved, that they then carried on smiling even after the President splattered turd-filled sods of soaking 200.000 dollar bills onto their foreheads, clapped approvingly.

‘These notes are made in Germany, they are made to last longer than their sell-buy date and you lot can’t be arsed to buy toilet paper and use money instead’, he screamed. Shaking visibly he went on,

Zimbabwe can’t afford to keep printing money for you lot not to give a shit where it comes from as long as it is going on your greedy holes!’

Pulling wads of old newspaper from out of his wife’s bra as she stood grinning adoringly at him, the President waved the crushed-up wads in the air.

‘From now on you will use this on your brown-eye. The Herald of Zimbabwe is ZANU and ZANU is TP for your bung-hole!’ (Here our esteemed President uses a quote from one of his best loved heroes, Beavis, in the film, Beavis and Butthead Do doo-doos-in America. TP, means literally, Toilet Paper)

The crowds roared with approval at this piece of information guaranteed to save their holes.

The President added as an afterthought.

‘However, always first look-out on the pages for any article by Nathaniel Manheru because they are already full of shit and will not do the job.’


The article about bunged up toilets and fancy paper can be found here-


Why America Sent a Black Man to Do a White Man's Job ...

I was chatting to someone the other night about Mugabe. He described him as a ‘Black Hitler’. The comparison isn’t bad. Hitler was and Mugabe is a complete megalomaniac.

meg·a·lo·ma·ni·a :

1. A psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.

2. An obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions.

Mugabe of course simply could not rival Hitler as far as being responsible for the death of millions and the global destruction that the Second World War wrought. Finishing off Hitler and the Third Reich was morally correct but to do so the Allies had to completely and utterly destroy Germany. As the Fuhrer’s world came crashing down he firmly placed the blame on the very people he led to destruction. The German people had stabbed him in the back, and he was going to tell them so. They were ’sellouts’ and surrender monkeys and thoroughly deserved their fate, so good buy from me and fire a bullet through my brain.

Mugabe will not do us the favour. His country is self-imploding and now totters on the brink of anarchy, and he and his ruling party and all the black tyrants of Africa are becoming a little concerned about a certain Barack Obahma.

Sticking it into the Yanks at this time is quite arguably correct. The present administration of the USA has been a disaster. But things are going to change. If Obahma becomes the President what exactly will his attitude be towards Africa? That is the big question.

Mugabe and his gooks are now striking pre-emptively, firing a salvo of propaganda spin that has now reached a new low. On May 17th The Herald newspaper of Zimbabwe, the mouth piece of the ruling party, published a piece by a certain Nathaniel Manheru. It is supposed to be about the appointment of America's new Ambassador to Zimbabwe, James David McGee, who happens to be a Blackman. The writer scribbles the most utter degenerate garbage I have read in a long, long time. If anything, this article truly shows the extent of the mind-set of Mugabe and Co. The twisted half-truths and philosophical style of a two year old throwing its toys out the cot, and then screaming its head off, is mind blowing!

I came across this via the ZimbabweSituation web site. Getting hold of the original from The Herald’s web site is rather difficult at the moment. I have reproduced it here with a few comments in red italics. I have left in the comments (in blue) by the Editor of WORLDMEETS.US who brought this disgraceful article to my attention.

Okay- take your time reading this. I hazard a guess that the spelling mistakes are by Mr Nathaniel Manheru, so I left them in. Even a drunkard with limited knowledge of the English language would be capable of writing a more coherent article -

Why America Sent a Black Man to Do a White Man's Job ...

When James McGee took up his post in Zimbabwe, he made it clear that Zimbabweans should never confuse the tint of his skin with the color of his assignment here. He had come as an agent and representative of the American Government and American interests.

These he would protect and pursue relentlessly - ruthlessly if need be. I hope everyone took note. I certainly did, and I still do. But I also hope that by the same logic, Mr. McGee grants Zimbabwe the same right, free indeed of any obligations suggested by skin pigmentation.

And when it comes to interests and purpose, he is decidedly White. And when it comes to Zimbabwe's purpose and interests, it is incurably Black. Our paths may never meet. (I hope not. Who would want to talk to this idiot?)That mush should be clear. (What is he going on about? This is senseless ranting.)


Allow me to favor him with a bit of information. His arrival triggered a debate on why White America had chosen a black covering for its envoy here - and at this point in the history of U.S.-Zimbabwe relations. It is the same question debated here following the appointment of Powell, Rice and Frazer to high posts in the American Administration.

We knew of Mr. McGee's checkered history in another country in our region [Nigeria], and in Madagascar. We also knew of his role in fighting America's wars in Vietnam [Air Force pilot].

I remember someone quipping "White America is now so confident of the Whiteness of its Blacks that color is no longer an issue. Color is no longer a perspective. Look at Obama - he could be White America's next President, and be far better at pushing her agenda than George W. Bush!"

I disagreed vehemently with that reading, reminding the maker of this frivolous point that Zimbabwe and the ruling Zanu-PF retain staunch support within respectable African-African American circles [African Americans that are not descended from slaves]; and that as a matter of fact, many self respecting African-African Americans resent being identified with these Black pastes on America's stripes and stars. [Those Black Americans that behave like Whites]. (Yup, read that again. I did three times and it still doesn’t make any sense. Okay, I am not sure, but I gather he means that all the blacks that descended from slaves are not real blacks at all. This bit Black pastes on America's stripes and stars,. I presume he means the Star and Stripes, a nickname for the national flag, but you would be hard hit to find the colour black anywhere on it!)

I also reminded this person that Obama was only of use for knocking Clinton out of the race, since she is the real threat to John McCain, but certainly not as a potential President of White America. McGee will deliver Zimbabwe to McCain, the same way Obama will clear the way for McCain's presidency. (What he is actually saying here is that if Obahma wins, he can kiss his Mercedes, large farm and fancy clothes good-bye.)

The debate (This is a debate? Sound’s more like someone sipping too much Whiteman’s fire-water.)went much further. How should we handle McGee if in pursuit of White America's interests, he begins to take a hostile line toward Zimbabwe? Again, I reminded those present that McGee would take a hostile line, sooner rather than later.

But I saw no dilemma: we will handle him like a White American, which is what he is, until he limps back home to the anonymity of retirement. But the debate revealed a lingering complex derived from our history. Our incorrigible desire to be nice and good to anyone carrying our complexion makes us susceptible to needless dilemmas. (Hah Hah, he is kidding isn’t he? His best mates, the South Africans burn Zimbabweans alive -


Just for starters, he conveniently ignores the massacre of 20k plus Ndebeles in his country in early ‘80s. plus…ssh, don’t mention Rwanda, Dafur, the Congo et-al and this is being nice?)

It is a disposition of gratuitous kindness often expressed against the imperatives of the history we have lived through. And if the cruel history we have lived and endured hasn't taught us that not everything Black is really Black, and that anything White cannot be Black, I guess nothing ever will. (Er, come again. Why not just come out with it – every Martian isn’t green.)

A people who can't learn from thongs of a cruel history can hardly be expected to learn from the fawning kisses and kindness deployed in peacetime. Such people have such an acute wish to be loved, that they will smile after a splatter of sod lands on their forehead. (I got a bad feeling he is a wife beater. That’s the only way I can make some sense out of that statement.)

LEARNING FROM JEWS (aah, here we go… This will be good.)

But the point goes much deeper. A people who can't read or quantify the pain of history, the massive injury done to them by other nationalities throughout history, cannot be a people in history. (Really? So what are they then – little green bottles?) Building a collective identity is based, among other things, on the bitterness and bruises that have been suffered and shared in history, and which becomes a rallying point for building a nation. (At last, the first sentence to make any sense.)

Just ask the Jews, who go as far as declaring war on those who seek to challenge the myth of the Nazi holocaust. (Well, I was hoping he would write a clanger and boy he didn’t fail me. It is at exactly this point when you realise that Mr Nathaniel Manheru would have made a fine NAZI, except for one small point, as a Blackman he would have his chances go up in smoke.)

That myth founded them, sustains them, motivates them and unites them. Ask the Palestinians, themselves victims of Jewish victims. They know that each of their dead must go toward building an Arab counter-myth to the holocaust, by which Jewish genocidal atrocities against them will be put beyond error and culpability for all time. (Going off on a tangent with an extremely complicated subject that is way over his head and nothing to do with Zimbabwe’s present situation. Except for one small point. He neglects to point out that Mugabe’s regime purchases anti-riot weapons and vehicles from the Israelis. I find that fact disgusting and wrote to the Jerusalem Post. Fat difference that made!)


We put too much stock in the man outside and forget the monster inside, we people of little judgment! As if we didn't bring to the world the wisdom of the proverbial fig: sumptuous rind to please the eye, but dark, creeping vermin inside. True, the saying is meant to caution the love-smitten in the human drama of courtship. (It is? Thanks for the tip. What a fruitcase!)

But who says its semantic range is limited to mortal seductive beauty? No, it extends to warning one against the danger of color-based solidarity belying an ugly and sinister White beneath. (Aah, now here is the crux of the matter. Obahma’s mother is white therefore Barrick Obahma cannot be black, so if Obahma becomes President and decides to have a pop at all the self-proclaimed legitimate despots, he can happily be ignored because he isn’t a real Blackman!) It's as if we forget that America is a nation of color. It has perfected the art of deploying its rich colors to great effect. That's why multiculturalism and multicolor-ism are so central to understanding her foreign policy. (Huh! Exactly what are you trying to say here? Who is this article supposed to be read and appreciated by? White liberals to keep sending you money? Because, to be honest, 99.99% percent of readers of your article will by now haven’t one iota what the hell you are going on about and long ago converted it into ‘TP for the Bung-hole’.)


When Iraq was attacked, the spokesperson for the "coalition of the willing" was a bloodshot-American spotting the smoked skin and hard, thick lips of an Arab. Aggression and genocidal massacre of Iraqis was made palatable to the world by Arab lips. (er, not quite sure who he is referring to. Any ideas - Colin Powell or the resurrected Mahdi of Sudan with a tapedeck stuck in his skull; after they managed to fish his decapitated head out the Nile.)

That is how consent for the war was manufacture - the destruction of Arab life endorsed and normalized. The same happened in Afghanistan. The same would happen on the African continent the day America decides we deserve a bit of its hot, molten iron in our bodies before it takes our prized raw materials. (So better to give it to the Chinese, less bullet holes in the contracts.)

America's multiculturalism arises not from the largeness of its heart, but from the sheer expansiveness of its global imperial designs. It is a weapon of war, which is why America's citizens of dark color eagerly await overseas aggression to find their place and glory, albeit for a short while.

If you are an American of Arab roots, you prayerfully hope Syria or Iran will be next, since perhaps the American military will designate you a spokesperson. If you are an African-African American, you hope Zimbabwe is next so you can become the Black spokesperson to cleanse such infamy. (Aah, now I do sort of see what he is getting at here. For example, if the Americans invaded London Zoo and killed all the Chimpanzees, they would get Michael Jackson’s former pal Bubbles to come out of retirement and sing ‘Who’s Bad’.)


At some point, a Black ambassador had to come to Zimbabwe. He came well before the situation in Zimbabwe was ripe for regime change (Look! Did you see that! Mugabe will hack his legs off! He just admitted Zimbabwe needs a regime change…hah-hah. What a plonker.)and before America had built a critical mass of "right-thinking" African-African Americans.

We had Ambassador J. Steven Rhodes here [Apr.-Aug. 1990], who turned to be wrong -a premature deployment of Blackness. Beyond his title as America's ambassador here, he turned out to be an African-African American who read Garvey, Malcolm X and Nkrumah. He didn't last. (Had enough of being called Uncle Tom is my guess!)

When the time was right, a McGee was bound to come, the same way Andrew Young came to win the confidence of liberation movements which threatened to overrun White Rhodesia in the late 1970s. It's very important to know that not everything Black isn't White. (That’s for sure. Andrew Young was a complete disaster and an embarrassment to the hand-wringing administration of Jimmy ‘I am Nuts’ Carter. To quote the esteemed Young’s own words, in a reply to a Times of London interviewer’s question in 1978 - "Does Mr. Mugabe strike you as a violent man?" Young replies- "Not at all, he's a very gentle man. In fact, one of the ironies of the whole struggle is that I can't imagine Joshua Nkomo, or Robert Mugabe, ever pulling the trigger on a gun to kill anyone. I doubt that they ever have. I find that I am fascinated by his intelligence, by his dedication. The only thing that frustrates me about Robert Mugabe is that he is so damned incorruptible.”

Oh well, perhaps Mr Young was suffering from Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE), commonly known as mad-cow disease. Please note that the photograph of a mad cow, mostly black with a tinge of white, is for illustration purposes only and can in no way be Andrew Young.)


The technique remains the same: see one side; hear one side; speak one side. We saw this at work in the run-up to the attack on Iraq. America built up evidence with which to justify aggression using sources that had a vested interest in damning Saddam Hussein and his Baathist Party.

She accrued testimonials from people opposed to Saddam - people that America herself had accepted as exiles in preparation for Saddam's ouster. Why did they expect the rat to plead for the accused groundnut? Now on to brother McGee. (I won’t deny this, so what’s the point here?)

Over the past two weeks, McGee has been very active. He has led diplomatic missions comprised mostly of Westerners to many places to build a story of a Zanu-PF-led torture campaign in the countryside.

He has been to the Avenues Hospital and hospitals and clinics in Mvurwi with the so-called international media in tow. And he gives interviews to anyone who cares to ask. He has also harpooned African envoys hoping to dramatize African outrage against Zanu-PF "atrocities."

In one interview, he revealed his entire game plan. It is to pin down the Zanu-PF and Zimbabwe to force a debate at the U.N. Security Council, "which will happen very soon." Currently, Britain is in the chair [has the Security Council presidency]. (Sounds like an excellent idea, not that it will amount to much as we are all fully aware, so what’s the problem?)

Next month, America will be in the chair, which is what explains McGee's optimism. His comments are outrageously unguarded, suggesting more an angry American fighting an unjust war in Vietnam than a circumspect ambassador with any claim to sophistication. The violence is 99.9 percent Zanu-PF, he says. If there are any Zanu-PF victims - and he says he's not aware of any - these would have earned it by provoking MDC [Movement of Democratic Change] retaliation!

The man has made up his mind and will not be moved by anyone or anything. He's defiant and will push aside the police to access any location. Using an arsenal of illegally imported equipment, he pipes his choreographed encounters to CNN which quickly obliges: "Zimbabwe authorities stop American ambassador twice." It's like one has dared ask God why he is called Almighty, you - a mere, puny mortal! " (An arsenal of illegally imported equipment! Such as? My guess a bucket of KFC southern fried chicken prepared by the KKK.)


But McGee has come with some good evidence. People must see a video produced by an organization called Solidarity Peace Trust, which clearly shows that the Zanu-PF is culpable! But when one searched for information on this organization - horror of horror! -It's an non-governmental organization registered in South Africa co-chaired by Pius Ncube and Bishop Rubin Phillip of KwaZulu-Natal Anglican church.

[Mugabe has tried to smear Zimbabwe Archbishop Pius Ncube. But to no avail. Ncube has been a staunch opponent of the regime. Bishop Rubin Phillip has campaigned against allowing a shipment of Chinese weapons to be delivered to the Mugabe regime].

It's the same Ncube of church sex-scandals who accosts America to invade and topple President Mugabe. The same Bishop Rubin who mounts action against a Chinese arms shipment to the southern African states, including Zimbabwe. (Yeah, but you got them in the end, and if the rumours are to be believed,it is all thanks to your great pal Mbeki.)

These are avowed enemies of the Zanu-PF and unconditional supporters of the MDC, set up and sponsored by the American Government. Why would they have any other motive than to damn Mugabe, the Zanu-PF and Zimbabwe? Why would the American ambassador pretend to have discovered material that was gathered, compiled and commissioned by intelligence officers that his Government has deployed in industrial quantities, having smelled the blood of the Zanu-PF? Why feign distance? (Yawn…this is getting boring. By the way, the software you are using on your P.C. to write this dribble, was it created in Zimbabwe? Or perhaps the Chinese version - Whiteman’s Wong Words)


Secondly, who are these victims? Who are the villains? What is this violence? These are fundamental questions that the fixation on images of a torn buttocks is meant to push away. You have villagers who are clearly traumatized but who have been rounded up and checked into Harare's most expensive hospital, the Avenues Clinic. (I am not surprised since you won’t let them into the crumbling ruins of the Sate run hospitals.)

They have even spilled over to the West End clinic. Until now, they weren't known. Until now they would never have dreamed of availing themselves of such first class facilities. They have no money and are clearly village wretches - and not through the violence that has been visited upon them, but by historical processes that McGee wouldn’t want to discuss. But they are in Avenues. They are predominantly women aged 30 to 40 and badly hurt and bruised. Surprisingly, these are calibrated injuries, mostly on buttocks, under the feet and the back. Relatives who visit them are all middle class coxcombs from the city. (Obviously all self-inflicted.)

Mr. McGee, something isn't adding up here. (This is an under-statement.) After visiting hours, these "relatives" troop out and congregate to swap animated gossip, all political, before disappearing in the direction of Harvest House or some such MDC-connected NGO office or safe house.


Much worse, the kingly rags-to-riches victims have been checked on by one Dr. Lovemore, herself historically associated with the Zimbabwe Congress of Trade Unions and the Amani Trust.

She runs something called the Counseling Services Union, again U.S./U.K. funded, and positioned just in time for the violence we all didn't know would come, but which the West predicted and wished through their media networks. More dramatically, Avenues Clinic has a standing contract with the Counseling Services Union, clinched well before the poll and the violence!

Most dramatically, Counseling Services Union generously offers to pay the admitting hospitals in the currency of their choice, with Avenues receiving payment in hard currency. Goodness me! Including Doctors for Human Rights - which is why habitually scarce doctors are always abundant for this assignment. And they are even keen to set aside the rules governing visits to victims. (I think what he means they are prepared to do an honest days work for an hones days wage – which appears to be a crime in Zimbabwe.)

They will allow you anytime and grant you as much time as you want to get the outrage affixed to the Zanu-PF. Come on!


Let us not have short memories. We saw this kind of operation during our liberation struggle, did we not? We had Selous Scouts here, did we not? Cruel men of Rhodesia who melted into farming soon after the war. (and presumably cruelly grew food and cruelly employed 350,000 people, which of course the poor landless war veterans sorted out) We had the Special Branch here, did we not? Cruel men who melted into civilian outfits soon after. (To be promptly replaced by your own trained thugs in much better and more expensive suits. Oh, and don’t forget the designer mirror sunglasses. No respectable Gook can go around without them.)

[The Selous Scouts was a special forces regiment of the Rhodesian Army which operated from 1973 until the introduction of majority rule and the country's independence as Zimbabwe in 1980.]

We had Rhodesia African Rifles, did we not? African askaris who came under the command of White officers - the majority of whom were drawn from territorials. (This is news to me. I would have taken an exceptional territorial white officer to be accepted by these proud volunteer warriors. As from 1979 they had their own black officers.) And territorials were White farmers. Rhodesia had a small standing army which got a boost from the farms. Have we forgotten that? (Well, actually they were a very small boost. The majority of them were townies, but you seem to have forgotten that. )

Which stupid Zanu-PFsupporter would create a torture base and leave it intact for Mr. McGee to come and inspect for maximum damage against the Zanu-PF? Are we not stretching believability? (Yup, you hit the nail on the head at last…well done!)

Has anyone asked why Gutu, Hurungwe, Buhera and Chikomba have become critical for the MDC? What was the significance of these districts during the war? And why is the violence following the zone of resettlement, targeting new farmers, Zanu-PF supporters or MDC turncoats?

Ambassador, are you puzzled by this the way we are? (I am bloody sure he is, the poor man. I feel genuinely sorry for him. Hopefully there is enough black left in him to give you back a bit of your own twisted ideology. Good luck to him, I say.) And why don't you visit victims of the Mayo and Shamva? [Tribes loyal to the opposition MDC - which seems to have won the recent elections].

Where have you put the U.N. reports that indicated that the MDC was also a villain, not just a victim?

Where have you put the U.N. reports that indicated that the MDC was also a villain, not just a victim?

Why haven't you investigated the role and place of White farmers in all this? Have they now found a new version of Rhodesia's war veterans, those roving MDC thugs that they have equipped with vehicles, cameras and crude weaponry, to effect new land occupations? (This guy is defiantly on some serious LSD man. Do you mean white farmers like these two that your Boss’s boys had a short chat with on how Democracy in Zimbabwe really works? See –


for the full story.)

Are we not seeing the MDC's land policy unfolding ahead of the run-off? When you see an MDC youth arrested amid scenes of violence who is unemployed, unkempt (I wonder why, couldn’t be because of the collapse of the economy by any chance?), he wields an expensive camera and an expensive cell phone with roaming capability. These abundantly unsophisticated uneducated youths even have the hotlines of the BBC and CNN. (Hah hah, this bloke is just too funny.)

So many questions and no one interested in answering them. (These are not questions; this is the imagination of an insane person.)

The Zanu-PF has to be indicted - guilty or not. Sooner than later, the link will be made among the violence, a former White now in self-exile and White commercial farmers who drifted back, at which point Mr. McGee will have a major rethink.

That's assuming that his mission, his conscience and his decency are compatible. In the meantime, McGee defies his Blackness, his history as a descendant of White atrocities and has become such a wonderful, lovely White man. Icho!

Well I hope that my comments kept you interested enough to read the entire rubbish spewed out by nathaniel.manheru@zimpapers.co.zw

(Nathaniel Manheru being a nom de plume, widely believed to be that of successive government spokesmen.)

A search of the net only brings up more of this sort of stuff. I can’t be arsed reading the nonsense, this one was enough. I will give him/them a little tip though –

"The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth becomes the greatest enemy of the State." (Dr. Joseph M. Goebbels)

Friday, May 16, 2008

Zimbabwe Ruins: The plight of the forgotten white elderly

Many years ago I collected banknotes. Well, I suppose we all do in a way, but these were just odd bits from around the world. I picked up some of the Weimer Republic’s currency at a flea market. I remember one vividly. It was a small square of cheap flimsy paper. Printed on one side was 1 million mark. The other side was blank. Then it had a black stamp across it which said 1 milliarden, which is German for what we would consider a billion. Crazy stuff. At least Zimbabwe is doing the same sort of thing with a little panache.

Take for example this amazing poster from 1st August 2006. This was the day when in a stroke of economical genius three zeros were lobbed off the currency. Note the colourful logo in the top right hand corner. Zero to Hero. If you are looking for a decent graphic designer get the bloke who did that.

Now here is the (almost) full range of notes since that date. Missing is the new 500 million. It is very hard to keep up. This new note will in theory, at this moment, buy two loaves of bread. Actually this isn’t money at all! This was proved a couple of years ago in a court case in Zimbabwe when someone was arrested crossing into Zimbabwe with a large amount of the currency. Why he had taken it out in the first place isn’t important. Perhaps he wanted to wipe his arse on the stuff. Anyway he is acquitted after making an ass out of the law. The law stipulated currency. These are bearer cheques with end of use dates, thus are not legal convertible tender in the sense of the word. So, there you have it – Zimbabwe must be the only country in the world with no money!

Against this backdrop, please take time to watch this extremely sad YouTube which has just this last week been posted. It is about the plight of a forgotten minority in Zimbabwe – the white elderly.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Tired, So Tired

I am suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome, well it sounds good!

I have something to tell you about soon, but in the mean time, I have given you a few YouTubes that will, hopefully, pump you up as it does me. The first two are contemporary stuff, the last two, yee oldie favourites. Enjoy.

This is pure brilliance:

So is this:

Now, to cool your brow:

And if you think that was queer, check out this: