Saturday, October 20, 2007

"England expects that every man will do his duty."

As posted today on the web site South Africa Sucks by Dark Raven.

10 reasons it's better being a Bok fan than a Pom fan:

1. Bok fans aren't surprised and grateful when their team wins matches, they're surprised when their team loses.

2. Green and gold jerseys look cool on all kinds of South Africans, but white jerseys make England supporters look like the love children of unhealthy Zombies and dead fish.

3. We actually have 15 players in our team, rather than just Jonny Wilkinson and 14 old guys.

4. The South African sports media might be a self-serving, sycophantic bunch of freeloaders, but at least they aren't staked out outside the team hotel hoping to get a picture of Monty's wife tanning topless.

5. Our coach has got a chin (okay, more than one when he speaks Afrikaans).

6. The Boks' traditional rivals actually come from different countries like New Zealand and Australia, as opposed to being English provinces, like Ireland, Wales and Scotland.

7. Fans of other teams hate the Boks because they're hard bastards - they hate the English because they're hypocrites who won't admit they're hard bastards.

8. Instead of wanky names like Jason, Jonny, Martin and Phil, our players have cool names like Os, Bakkies, Wikus, Akona, and, uh, Percy. (Dammit, trust Percy to ruin everything again).

9. Bok fans don't mind being hated, because of all the practice we had during the apartheid years. English fans, on the other hand, can't seem to understand why the rest of the world loathes them.

10. Win or lose on Saturday, Bok fans are flying back to a summer of hot babes and beaches. English fans are doomed to a winter of sleet and clogged M1.

11. (Everyone knows South Africans can't count) Schalk Burger pushes the earth down when he does press ups. Martin Corry sticks his bum in the air.

Excuse grammar and spelling- just my quick response…

10 Reasons Why I support England.

  1. The South Africans stabbed us Rhodies in the back.
  2. When England win they will get titles like ‘Sir’, the South Africans, might they be lucky not to be murdered and get to live a few more years, will receive the title ‘Oom’.
  3. The English are natural born losers but they still managed to have the largest empire in history.
  4. The English have a flair for drama. When blood flows over white shirts, it arouses visions of the crusaders. When it pours down a green and gold, it reminds people of a drunken Afrikaner falling over an ox drawn plough.
  5. When Mbeki and the boys turn the Boks black, the English will give the white ones a job.
  6. The English have names that remind people of gentlemen, the Bokkies have names that remind you of drunken Afrikaners falling over ox drawn ploughs.
  7. The English understand the rules better because it happens that they are written in their language.
  8. The English don’t need a Visa to go too France.
  9. The English invented the sport. Typical Africans, the Boks stole it!
  10. The English run around happily playing in the rain. The Boks run around preying for the stuff.
  11. And finally, the English can count to ten, Dark Raven can’t!


Anonymous said...

LOL LOL LOL LOL - but percy got a cute arse...

Bokonon said...

"Rugby is a marvelous game, but nobody should play it." Terence "Spike" Milligan.

Anonymous said...

How can you be Rhodesian when you were born in the UK?

You are a silly man.

Anonymous said...

South Africa did not stab Rhodesia in the back, it was your fellow countrymen, England which stabbed Rhodesia in the back just like they stabbed South Africa in the back. Why?? Because Britain did not want to be associated with racist countries and the cost to help them would have been to high.If Britain and the British Commonwealth helped, they would have been branded as racist, want to be politically correct.

Also, Britain encouraged it ( destruction of white SA) especially in SA since it would destroy their old enemy, namely the Afrikaner ( Boers) who started to become to strong for Britains liking.
Britain does not want to lose control of their gold and diamonds. So put a blackman in power who is easy to control and manipulate through bribary and corruption.

Basically in a nutshell.

Anonymous said...

Well played, both sides. Had me falling about laughing . . . like a drunken Afrikaner over an ox plough.