Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Congratulations to South Africa, Finland, Russia and China.

All the build-up, all the hype, all to no avail. I am gutted. I think I will give up following any sport. It makes me ill and people threaten me and call me bad names if I support the wrong side.

And that was exactly the problem last week.

First the Russians booted England pretty well into touch as far as qualifying for the European championship. Who is to blame? The referee of course. That should never have been a penalty. I mean, like, Roony only grabbed the other bloke OUTSIDE the penalty area. What is the sport coming too, when dirty illegal tactics are so poorly judged? Where is the justice? I think the ref was Irish, which explains it all – racist bastard! Still, the manager is USELESS! England should never have an English manager, because they just take the piss because they earn so much less than the players. Get that Portuguese bloke, who never has a decent shave, to do the job. He has the right attitude. Forget tactics and all that bollocks. He just tells the players,

‘Get out there and earn your keep, ya lazy bastards, or your all fired and wont see a farthing, never mind any shilling.’

Second disaster to hit me was the rugby. It wasn’t a very exciting game. The Boks just hung around drinking Castles and waited for England to trip over each other so they could get a few penalty kicks. Then of course there was the controversial try that was disallowed. That was the refs fault and I believe he was Irish – the racist bastard!

So still struggling to cope with that disaster, I pinned my hopes on Lewis Hamilton to claim the F1 World Championship in Brazil. What happens? Some bloke from Finland in a red car wins! Our man is left floundering about with an engine that cut out because some Irish mechanic deliberately left a spark plug out of the gearbox (that’s what a man in a pub told me), the racist bastard!

To wrap up the week on Sunday evening, there I was, weeping bitter tears of defeat, and decided to watch the final of a world ranking snooker tournament being beamed live from London. A Chinaman was playing the great Ronnie O’Sullivan (who I believe is Irish). As soon as I tuned in, that racist bastard must have known, and just too really put the boot in, deliberately threw the match to let the Chinaman win!

So now feeling extremely depressed, I called the Samaritans Lifeline. Because there must have been a huge amount of people also suffering like me, I landed up being put through to a 'call centre' in Pakistan.
I explained the situation that I was feeling suicidal because of all what has happened.
They were very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an aeroplane...

(P.S. Just in case there are any more misunderstandings, I have nothing against the Irish and this is just a piece of satirical piss-take. I say this because some Afrikaners, who I also have no problems with (except Mrs Smuts), didn’t quite realise that with my last posting!)

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