Friday, July 27, 2007

Rage Against The Black Regime

How much anger can a man keep bottled up? When is enough, enough? How long must educated, semi-aware, socially conscious people of this planet, walk on the egg-shells of political correctness, before they finally have had it up to their necks with the bullshit? (That’s my philosophy with a small p, by the way.)

When I lived in Bavaria, Germany, the locals had a wonderful expression to illustrate when someone had pissed them off, BIG time. The trick was to hold your breath and force a rush of blood into the head by gritting the teeth hard. This will make the neck muscles writhe and bulge, and the veins stand out. At this point, the complainer would place his hands either side of his neck, in stiffened talons, and exclaim loud and with forced venom (in what is slang dialect)

‘Ich krieg so einen Hals!’ (I get such a throat!)

That is what I get when I read about what is going on in the land that was once a jewel and has now been turned into a sewer. The culprits should be sitting on a skewer, and sold as ‘Zim-kebabs’ outside the United Nations building.

Put a bullet through that daft, old fart, Mugabe’s head? Don’t make me fucking laugh! You need about 2 to 3 thousand rounds to take out all of the political elite that have literally leeched a land dry. AND – what would it achieve? Fuck all, actually. Show me a success case in African self-government, and I will show you a footage of the Roman Catholic Church Priests in Los Angeles, paying out millions for shagging their choir boys. (Come to think of it, that would be possible!)

Don’t point fingers at Botswana and preach success! Google the place and then ask the bushmen how their government treats them. Shame the poor bastards are sitting on Diamonds! All an average Western knows about Botswana is from a White Rhodesian, Alexander McCall Smith, who writes fictional novels about a Black, Number 1 female detective. Perhaps if he started a new series called Robbing Bob, No 1 of Zimbabwe, the place might get more coverage.

No-one in western government have big balls, anymore, except Australia’s PM who didn’t mince his words when he called Mugabe ‘a grubby, little Dictator.’

Turned on the news at the end of last week; Biggest story - Victoria (Posh) and David Beckham arrive in America. I am so fucking thrilled that I will rush out, order the forthcoming DVD, The Spice Girls: Return of The Last White and Brown Rehashed Trash, and search the net for David Beckham’s best selling novel, How To Speak The Queens English From the Bottom of a Bi-weekly Collected Trash Can.

When the press finally got tired of that, they got lucky because things really got exciting in Middle England. As Mugabe pointed out, in another of his insane, blame-game speeches,

‘The colonial, racist British gay gangsters, have many ways to try and bring down the legitimate government of Zimbabwe! They have created drought with their weather satellites over our land, and stolen the rain for themselves! Now we have no food in the shops!’

Maybe Bob was right; it then rained for 40 days and 40 nights (twice) in the UK (still more to come), and thousands of people don’t have to worry about a hose pipe ban, this summer.

I just received an email from my Mom in Zimbabwe. Power cuts everyday, they adapt by cooking what they can, when it occasionally comes on. Food? Well, her husband seems quite proficient at scouring the shops for what is left on the shelves, going from one shopping centre to another, on his bicycle. They have no petrol, but they seem to be OK and had been up in the stunningly beautiful Eastern Highlands for a break, just before Mugabe totally lost the plot, and enforced his wage-freeze policy.

Talking about Mugabe - he turned up at the opening of parliament the other day, in an open back Rolls Royce!

Now Robert is in shit-street, and he knows it. If the army, or the police top-dogs turn on him, it’s all over, so he needs yet another plan to keep the wolves from his door. Governor Gono of the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe has pretty well given up. What smart money is still left in the place, he will take and do a runner, soon. With the shop-keepers, wholesalers, and what manufacturing sector is left, being forced into bankruptcy (some 4000 managers/owners have been arrested, some thrown into jail), Mugabe has decided to ‘indigenise’ all privately-owned firms! Very soon all firms will have to be 51% owned by a Black man. This starts to get confusing if the firm is already owned by a Black man!

What Mugabe means, of course, is that his cronies will become ‘Directors’ and go on another frenzied feed, till there is nothing left!

Scrolling through all the news about Zimbabwe on the net, I came across something about an economic ‘think tank’, who had worked out that ten-billion pounds will be needed to sort Zimbabwe out. Really, and whose money will be used? Has Bill Gates decided to buy an entire country? Will Bob Geldof throw yet another concert?

How about a real line-up of stars, past and present, especially adapted for Zimbabwe?

(We in) Dire Straits - Money for nothing, Get Ya bullets For Free!

Tom Jones - Sex Bomb, Sex Bum, You’re my AIDS Bomb!

Justine Timberlake - Cry Me A Croc-Infested River To Cross!

Garry Glitter - I’m The Leader of Farm Invader Gangs - Yeah!

The Police - I Will Hack-Off Your Fingers!

Emimnem - You Got One Shot To Ruin A Country, Don’t Ever Let It Go!

Shirley Bassey - Blood Diamonds Are For Ever!

Cher - Whiteys, Gays and Racists!

Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney - Ebony and Ebony, Looting or Starving in Perfect Harmony!

Eric Clapton - I Shot The Farmer, But I Didn’t Grow Anymore Crops!

10 Billion is a snippet! How many London Olympics is that? Don’t know? Not surprised, because NO one knows what the cost of that will be, but there are people out there who happily come out with a nice round sum to ‘fix’ Zim. I am amazed. I do presume they calculated that 80% of that gets creamed off!


From the Times, Dated Today

Babies abandoned as police beat mothers

Finally, to wrap up today’s rant, I have copied a letter I’ve received. I was about the 6th forwarded, (why are people so lazy) so I had more >>>>>>> than the zero’s on a Zim-billion dollar bearer cheque, to get rid of. I added a few words now and then, and corrected some of the spelling, as whoever wrote this, was also in one hell of a rage:

News top story: Mugabe faces pressure as currency crashes!

Imagine this was on a bookstall banner advertising a new novel. It would be a hit, probably one of the best drama and horrors, all rolled into one.

Shit, I love a story with a happy ending. This has to be a best seller, and even better there is pain and suffering from start to finish. The main culprit has put millions of his own through the wringer, a far better job than any military or colonial leader could have ever achieved, cock your Nazi cap to perfection Adolf. Now to cap it all he has turned it into a basket case for the rest of the natural lives of the main players, and certainly all those poor souls still trapped in that time warped country. ‘Pamberi Mugabe.’

I reckon we all should be voting to keep the old codger in power. He is systematically committing genocide of his own race. Lets support him, after all he has the experience to f*ck every thing he touches.

‘Pamberi Mugabe,

4500% inflation - and soaring. 80% out of jobs - but they have political freedom. No health care - just don't get sick and avoid queues, if you can, so you don't get infected with TB. No food security - no white farmers to bail them out their man made shithole. No electrical power - have destroyed Kariba's ability to provide even a small amount of usable energy. No manufacturing industry - they are a lazy lot and it's far more productive herding cattle and sitting in a tree beside the road, for the educated sleeping in parliament is a much better occupation. Transport network grinding to a halt - aaaah we don't need roads and rail for our donkey carts. Education! - standards have been lowered so far down the international norm that even persons with an IQ of 60 can be considered University material in Zimboland. Fuel - well fossil fuel as you and I know it in the form of petrol, diesel etc is in dire short supply and hellish expensive when you can get it, but no problem, there are plenty of trees on the whitey's farms, and we have donkey carts.

Remind me - less the donkey carts - wasn't it like this when our forefathers arrived? No inflation, no jobs, no health care, no food and no crops, no power, no industry, no roads, no schools or varsities, no sustainable fuel supply. Dare I say no country and certainly no Zimbabwe. The expected response from a modern day cabinet minister would probably be "Aaaaahhh, No Problems!"

So in reality the country is going backwards, every where else in the world, individuals, governments, nations, even continents are striving to go forward, improve their living standards. But Mugabe bless his soul - if he has one – is destroying everything that was built up to better the people and the land.

Sadly the rest of the world have sat back - albeit amid quiet diplomacy - in fear of rejection and castigation by the almighty Mugabe.

The whites that insist on living in this man made dump are suffering delusions of a by gone era - get a grip! It was wonderful, it was God's own country, it was a happy community, it had great Castle beer, it was simply the best. But now it is simply and by the longest shot the worst. Only Baghdad could possibly be worse, possibly I said!

And the Devil was heard to chant with glee,

‘Pamberi Mugabe, Pamberi ZANU-PF, Pamberi Zimbabwe! Soon I will own all those poor sad souls. Thank you my partner in crime, the one, the only, the biggest sham and embarrassment to independent black Africa, Robert Gabriel Mugabe. I, the devil will immortalize you in hell, for you are surely great!’

And all the while the rhetoric and spin doctors will echo the infamous words of the last Rhodesians leader,

‘There will never be black rule in my lifetime.’ But of course the press miss-quoted him, what he really said was,

‘Of course there will be black miss-rule in my lifetime’

Spin that one you ......


Anonymous said...

Cool post there...I know how you feel..! Like you can just kick someone to death..

‘Ich krieg so einen Hals!’ just doesn't have the same vibe when translated into English eh..but the Afrikaners put it nicely in..

'Ek is keelvol!'

Bokonon said...

Hate to be a bit of an anorak, but the main beast of burden in Zimbabwe in 1890 was the woman. There were no donkey carts or even donkeys. (Carts are pointless if there are no roads.)

None of this mitigates the disaster of Zimbabwe's year Zero. If only real people weren't suffering.

Anonymous said...

Off topic..hope you can answer.
Is the book ’When a crocodile eats the sun’ by ex-Rhodesian Peter Godwin any good.
I read a short blurb about it in a magazine here in Canada and would like to buy it if it is not a bleeding heart liberal thing.
I’ve never been to Rhodesia but my great- grandmother lived there for quite a while, as well as in the old Northen Rhodesia.