Saturday, March 04, 2006

Geri Giraffe Applies For Political Asylum.

Geri Giraffe Applies For Political Asylum.

The High Court will today decide whether Geri Giraffe, who arrived in the United Kingdom illegally, may be allowed to stay. His defence lawyer will argue that should he be returned to Zimbabwe the same fate awaits him that was dished out to his wife and children late last year.

Geri had been desperately foraging food for himself and his family in the drought stricken Hwange National Park when a police Land Rover packed with American hunters suddenly turned up.

Speaking for his client, who still cannot talk properly after catching a bad throat cold whilst escaping from the genocide, told gathered reporters, ‘The obese hunters simply stated firing wantonly with sub machine guns provided by their ‘hosts’. His wife and children didn’t stand a chance. Geri managed to run away and hide.’

Later it transpired that Geri waited for several weeks before he was able to smuggle himself aboard an Air Zimbabwe flight to London unnoticed. With the cabin crew engaged collecting foreign currency from the few passengers on board to cover the cost of fuel, Geri was spotted sitting on the wing too late for the pilot to turn the aircraft around.

Animal right groups are financing Geri’s appeal by selling T-shirts depicting a photograph taken by a passenger who had first noticed Geri at 30,000 feet, on EBay. The passenger, who insists on staying anonymous, had told Immigration officials at Heathrow airport that he had been a little surprised to see Geri watching him as he supped on a tin of beer. ‘I felt sorry for him as he is really in the same boat as all of us on the plane.’

It has now transpired that every passenger and the entire crew have all applied to be allowed to remain in the United Kingdom.

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