Friday, August 11, 2017

I have a Girlfriend called Jay

Weird Wonders

Started work as usual today. Usually work always starts before being finished. I have never met anyone who finishes a job before they have started.

When I was dreaming of a career I decided that with my 5 o levels I could start at the top. My first job in the construction industry did start at the top. I was given a shovel and told to dig a hole.

Meanwhile back in the weird and wonderful world of TGK

With the blessing of the heavens weeping all over poor little me, I found the perfect excuse to skive off. So, I tootle back home after picking up some graze and beer and after parking up as parking down only happens in sink holes. Or you can go down and park up in an underground car park.

I open the letter box. Inside is a strange note from DHL. Sorry we missed you etc collect your parcel tomorrow at your local post office.

Blank. Totally blank (my mind). I have no recollection I ordered anything. Panic attack, maybe Jays ex has traced my address and sent a bomb! Or maybe Mugabe has sent an assassin?

Well puzzled, I struggled up the staircase with 50 bottles of beer bending my back. To relieve the weight at each floor I drank ten. By the time I reached the third floor I could barely find my front door even though it was right in front of me. Now I panicked did I have enough beers to last the night or should I fall down the steps and go and buy some more?

Luckily common sense prevailed and after falling off the toilet and having a little kip on the cool tiled floor, I turned the PC on.

AND there it was! It seems I HAD ordered something
cost a bloody fortune. 15 Euros. Three tins of BRUT deo, all Jays faults. She just luuurves her brute smelling of BRUT (less the 33).

there was something else. A weird notice that I have received three pounds from a very dodgy Russian name living in Cypress. It turns out that my sadly ignored blogspot still has a donation site for beers for me! Nice huh.

before I go on the lash and chase skirt -

I bought a new can of roll baccy today. It has all sorts off nasty pictures of dead and dying people due to smoking the stuff. This can said it could cause a heart attack. Bloody right
nearly had one trying to get the lid off!

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