Weird Wonders
Started work as usual today. Usually work always starts before being finished. I have never met anyone who finishes a job before they have started.
When I was dreaming of a career – I decided that with my 5 o’ levels I could start at the top. My first job in the construction industry did start at the top. I was given a shovel and told to dig a hole.
Meanwhile – back in the weird and wonderful world of TGK…
With the blessing of the heavens weeping all over poor little me, I found the perfect excuse to skive off. So, I tootle back home after picking up some graze and beer and after parking up as parking down only happens in sink holes. Or – you can go down and park up in an underground car park.
I open the letter box. Inside is a strange note from DHL. Sorry we missed you etc – collect your parcel tomorrow at your local post office.
Blank. Totally blank (my mind). I have no recollection I ordered anything. Panic attack, maybe Jay’s ex has traced my address and sent a bomb! Or maybe Mugabe has sent an assassin?
Well puzzled, I struggled up the staircase with 50 bottles of beer bending my back. To relieve the weight – at each floor I drank ten. By the time I reached the third floor I could barely find my front door even though it was right in front of me. Now I panicked – did I have enough beers to last the night or should I fall down the steps and go and buy some more?
Luckily
common sense prevailed and after falling off the toilet and having a little kip
on the cool tiled floor, I turned the PC on. Started work as usual today. Usually work always starts before being finished. I have never met anyone who finishes a job before they have started.
When I was dreaming of a career – I decided that with my 5 o’ levels I could start at the top. My first job in the construction industry did start at the top. I was given a shovel and told to dig a hole.
Meanwhile – back in the weird and wonderful world of TGK…
With the blessing of the heavens weeping all over poor little me, I found the perfect excuse to skive off. So, I tootle back home after picking up some graze and beer and after parking up as parking down only happens in sink holes. Or – you can go down and park up in an underground car park.
I open the letter box. Inside is a strange note from DHL. Sorry we missed you etc – collect your parcel tomorrow at your local post office.
Blank. Totally blank (my mind). I have no recollection I ordered anything. Panic attack, maybe Jay’s ex has traced my address and sent a bomb! Or maybe Mugabe has sent an assassin?
Well puzzled, I struggled up the staircase with 50 bottles of beer bending my back. To relieve the weight – at each floor I drank ten. By the time I reached the third floor I could barely find my front door even though it was right in front of me. Now I panicked – did I have enough beers to last the night or should I fall down the steps and go and buy some more?
AND there it was! It seems I HAD ordered something – cost a bloody fortune. 15 Euros. Three tins of BRUT deo, all Jays faults. She just luuurves her brute smelling of BRUT (less the 33).
However – there was something else. A weird notice that I have received three pounds from a very dodgy Russian name living in Cypress. It turns out that my sadly ignored blogspot still has a donation site for beers for me! Nice huh.
Finally – before I go on the lash and chase skirt -
I bought a new can of roll baccy today. It has all sorts off nasty pictures of dead and dying people due to smoking the stuff. This can said it could cause a heart attack. Bloody right – nearly had one trying to get the lid off!
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