Friday, December 23, 2016

El Paso

From the Reuters ticker – News just come in.

Gay matador killed by horny bull.

The  flamboyant matador, Flamingo ‘El Paso’
Autofellatio, was today killed in the bull ring by a large horny bull.

A popular entertainer, the 45 year old never actually terminated any bulls, but dressed in pink and covered in fake diamonds, he was a crowd favourite.

In over 200 appearances, ‘El Paso’ would always pass urine and fill his pants as soon as a bull was released into the arena. Screaming, ‘Mamma Mia’ he would dive over the safety barriers before the bull had even worked out what the fuck it was doing there.

However, in tragic circumstances, as CCTV footage show, ‘El Paso’ had been distracted by a young man winking at him from the front row.

The force of penetration left the hapless matador flapping his arms and twitching his legs on the end of the left side of the bull’s horns until, perhaps in a coincidental irony, it flicked the corpse into the First Aid pit.

Many conscientious, left wing animal lovers called yet again for a ban on the ‘sport’. However, the Minister for Killing Bulls, Chinese born ‘Zing Zang Nogong’ was quick to reply -

‘Zongy, zong singsig, lahata myway – fuck the pope, wing dingzing huh!’.
Roughly translated -

The fucking bull fucked him up the arse to death, for fuck’s sake. Wake up you fucking morons -  smell the cupochina. Huh!.


Leveller said...

Nice to see you back! Not everyone is on Facebook....
Planning another memoir?

Karl (aka Lore) said...

No idea...

perhaps, maybe - we see.