Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Gokwe Kid – Rogue Rhodie on a Roller (Part 1)

Starting on Saturday 26th July and lasting approximately one month, an old lunatic will attempt a pointless mission of going there and back just to see how far it really is. To do this he has decided to take an extremely modern form of transport - a tiny two stroke roller.

If this sounds insane, it gets even more absurd because the penniless bum intends to go camping the whole way. This means that he is likely to be picked up very quickly by the police as they watch amazed, as a huge pile of plastic bags of rubbish are apparently moving on their own accord, tied to a noisy thing on two wheels.

The person who will attempt this mission impossible is none other than me – The infamous Gokwe Kid.

So – here is the planned trip. It is about 1500 km. 

Cities intending to check out in the Czech Republic and Poland (going up) – Cesky Krumlov, Brno, Ostrava. Katowice, Krakow, Warsaw and (going down), Lodz, Wroclaw, Prague, Pilzen.

I will use as many minor roads as possible. Several reasons. It makes no difference as far as speed is concerned. I can only go a maximum of 45 kmh. So in theory - I actually can make more direct routes.

There will be less traffic, hence the odds of getting killed are slightly better.

Then, all the little villages will be full of friendly peasants, and there will be plenty of cheap places to eat and make loads of friends, who will fill me up on wicked schnapps and ice cold beer, accommodate me for free, and let me sleep with their wives and or daughters, sheep, goats and chickens.

Alternatively, the place could be crawling with rampant, rabid, robbing Rhodie rapists, and my buggered corpse, shrouded in the green and white, will be dumped as a warning to the dangers of going where no Rhodie has gone before.

Due to a budget close on a small overdraft, I have and will lobby for donations and sponsors.
So what do you get in exchange ? -

Ah, there is plenty.

I will be posting on a regular basis (presuming some of the hovels I zip through even know what free WiFi is), and you will giggle at my antics (even if I do get run over).

You can sponsor me a beer or two. For that you get your name up here and on a picture/video with your name stuck to the glass/bottle.

You can sponsor a stretch of the trip. A photo will be taken of the entrance sign of some joint with me holding up your name and another picture as I arrive at the next kaff.

You can ask for a postcard from a particular place (limited to major cities). There I will take a photo, have it printed, and send it as a card. (Address needed obviously.)

You can design your own sticker, send it to me and it will be on the roller. Or, I will do it as a transfer on a T-shirt.

I am open to more ideas.

On the right is a PayPal link. The sums are small. (Use multiple donations if necessary.) Please use your discretion. 50 Pence will not, for an example, get you a postcard.

Sponsors/donations so far -

Irena Schartz of Töging, Germany.
Free tent and sleeping bag (brand new), and the use of her SatNav.

Family Obergrussberger of Pleisskirchern, Germany.
Bits and bobs and technical help.

Kat Hall, Worcester, UK.
Gas cooker, camping chair, rucksack.

Sue Duffy, Bristol, UK.
Sponsors, the drive, Wroclaw to Prague.

Please leave comments here and on Facebook. Comments here may take a bit of time to check.

Contact me is the same as in my books -

I will start to use twitter on this trip. Details soon.

Next posting will be about preparations, along with hilarious pictures. Catch ya all soon.


Sue Duffy said...

The mad Gokwe Kid is now turning into a manic intrepid traveller....God help us all!!!! Will be waiting in frenzied anticipation for his rants en route. Well done Karl.

Charmion said...

Happy Cycling & safe travels .
Well done you.
Go well.

Karl (aka Lore) said...

Many thanks for the sponsorship Charmaion. You did not say what it is for - beer, a card or petrol money?

Paul Cullen said...

Gods speed my old friend

Phil the Rhodie said...

Go the Rhodies.....keep the green and white flag flying high!!!