Sunday, October 13, 2013

Skippy – The Bush Kangaroo

Skippy – The Bush Kangaroo

How many of you remember ‘Skippy the Bush Kangaroo’?
We loved it as kids. Such a clever animal. It could work the radio and say ‘tut-tut’ and do all sorts of smart stuff and was always at hand to rescue Sunny (what a stupid fucking name), from some dumb arse tragedy or whatever.

It was without doubt Australia’s ultimate disaster in television that can only be equalled by ‘Flipper’ the dolphin that was so clever he could ‘eek eek’ his way onto a TV talk host show.

The thing is - bored out my skull, I did some research about our beloved Skippy. Even Flipper would be stunned with the results. Firstly – kangaroos are thicker than sheep. As in – beyond stupid. A Welsh border collie would rather tear their throats out than try to herd them.

Next – remember the scene when you see Skippy’s cute little forearms using the radio? Yeah, it turns out those were taxidermist bits of some long dead Kangaroo shoved onto two sticks. Wait - it gets better –

Remember the ‘tut-tut’ noise our brilliant jumping thing made? Turns out, they don’t do that at all. Wait – this gets worse –

The Skippy we saw was in fact loads of them. The dumb animal was stashed with a load of its compatriots in a pen, all shitting and pissing and stinking something rotten, and when it was time to film some daft scene, they simply let the lot out and the Aussies filmed frantically the stupid things jumping around in the vain hope some footage could be cut well enough to con the audience. There were so many of these jumpers (not a cardigan), that most promptly disappeared into the outback.

Luckily, the Aussies have shit loads of the things. And that is where this story ends – In a deep freeze of  Germany’s Netto discount supermarket at Euro 4.49 for 300 grams. 

I tell you this for free – only Rhodesian Aberdeen Angus tastes better. Although - there is one small problem.. The meat tends to try to jump out the frying pan, so you have to keep hitting it with a big stick whilst saying ‘tut-tut’.

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