Thursday, October 24, 2013

No Pain – No Gain

And – lo and behold –Thursday, 14.45 hrs– the tooth fairy did arrive and pronounce my fate…

Go back 45 minutes. There I was getting the butcher treatment. Loads of injections and this nice young lady with a cute Russian/German accent is happily pulling out most of my upper and lower jaw fragments that seem to have stopped bothering holding my teeth in.

In walks the Mother – not from hell. She is actually the mother of the young lady who has just completed disintegrating my jaw.

“Herr Greenberg,” she announces proudly. “I have Sehr Gute news for you.”

Me thinks – Do you know (besides some weird freak), that actually believes a dentist when they say they have ‘Good News’. That is like…guess what, we amputated your leg, all is okay, but I am afraid your heart packed in from the stress, so - Auf Wiedersehen .

Which has to be the dumbest goodbye in any language. ‘Auf Wiedersehen’ means – ‘Till I see you again’. How is that possible when you are buried almost two meters under some rocky, glacier rubble what they here call earth?

I ask you.

Meanwhile. Lying there semi-comatose and unable to speak, I get the good news…

“Herr Greenberg, as you lie there semi-comatose and unable to speak, we will now rip out loads of your teeth because…”

Of course, I am semi-comatose and unable to speak, but they hold me down in the chair…

“We have your temporary replacements. Do not they look beautiful? Much better than those we now pull out your skull.”

Considering they have injected me with enough gear that I could be shot gunned in the mouth and still stand up grinning; I wasn’t exactly in a position to argue.

Besides, by this time I couldn’t feel half my head after another six injections.

Still, after I watched my life’s blood sucked out of a tube and my mouth stuffed with cotton wool, and this strange contraption introduced into my body - I thought the ‘Vorsprung durch Technik’, rather impressive.

I think I will get drunk tonight… Saying that, the part time choppers look rather cool!

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