Monday, August 27, 2012

The Gokwe Kid – All of it!

It is all good news! I am so excited. Part Two is now uploaded. Part One was also uploaded again due to a couple of small details that needed attending to. 
Price of Part Two is a little bit more because you get a heck of a lot – 21 hilarious/tragic, action packed new chapters. This book is unquestionably the most original story ever to be written about the Rhodesian Bush War. (And so says all of me.)

I have put them on the right hand side. Just click the image.

You can use any kind of digital reader. Also the PC. The apps are free. Click the image on the right.

Also – I notice that asking to be my friend simply clogs up the normal feed. I am never going to see anything you write. The best way is to join the Facebook Gokwe Kid group. That way I see you and can reply and comment etc. The link is on the right as well.

About Part Two –

The ‘Look Inside’ bit of the Kindle edition on Amazon duplicates Chapter 17 and 18 from Part One. I did this deliberately because there was no way I was allowing Chapter 19 (the actual start of Part Two) to go out there for every Tom, Dick and Harry to read for free. That chapter – The Great Battle of Gokwe took months to put together. I had to get hold of as many people as I could that were involved. Quite a bit of detective work, I tell you. And it is one heck of a story, especially since outside a small circle, no one knows about it.

Please comment as much as possible here and Facebook, and give lots of rave reviews. You can all really help me if you could do the following both on and
Click - ‘Like’
Click - ‘Was this review helpful?’
Click the ‘Tags’
AND...please please, Email all your friends and help me go viral, I need some bucks hey! Simply say - Google- The Gokwe Kid

I will try to keep up to speed here. However, I am under huge stress with university exam deadlines at the moment.

Also, after some musings, I have decided that the print version will come out as one book. But it is going to be rather large – maybe 420 plus pages. Loads of lovely pictures as well.
Price, not sure yet, but it will be under £10. I cannot go much less. Even at £9.99, I am lucky if I get 75 pence!

That is at any moment on the way to the printers and I await the proof copy.
Stay cool and enjoy the amazing story of the greatest bush detective of all time. (sic)
Catch ya all soon and I await massive sales with baited bated breath.

Oh – if you can’t see ‘Look Inside’ in Part Two; that is because it will still take a few hours to get into the system. It only went live this morning.

Monday, August 20, 2012

THE GOKWE KID – Now on Amazon

Yes, this is it. Finally after almost a decade of procrastinating I have done it. The book that will have everyone talking about is FINISHED.

Er, sort of. I gave up waiting for certain people to keep certain promises, so I simply in the end did it myself – and a jolly good result indeed. (With a little help from my friends.)

So, here is the plan – I don’t have time with massive university exams looming, to get this into print yet, BUT – it is an eBook.

The Gokwe Kid – Dick of the Bushveld (Part One) is available NOW from Amazon

Now if you are wondering what the heck is Part 1 about…well, er, it turns out the goddamn book, along with the pictures, was simply too huge! Something like 400 pages (A4)!

So I split it and Part 2 will be out this coming weekend. As Part 1 only went active this very morning, it may still take a bit of time before people outside the UK can buy it.

At this present time, Amazon hasn’t got pricing into place as is takes couple of more days as the different rates go through their servers for all the Amazon.countries, etc. But you can buy it - Price is £2.02. Just click buy. Why such a dumb ass price? I priced it 20% lower, uploaded the whole thing and the bastards whacked on VAT!

So, please buy and tell your friends – I am seriously destitute. There are three freebie chapters on Amazon as well, including pictures. And don’t forget to write lots of nice things on Amazon and Facebook and 5 star it. Also on the Amazon page is a ‘like’ button.

Part Two, will be available in a weeks time! Here is the cover. 

I have a new dedicated email address for all my fans to contact me and I promise to reply

And I have this special address for trolls –

Many thanks to all of you who have waited so long and helped me with info, feedback and comments. Keep it up.

AND – as I composed this for my blog – I had put up a smaller version of it on various Facebook sites and a complete stranger,Catherine MT has bought a copy! Fame at last.

So off you go and buy and read and laugh and cry over the adventures of the great
 Gokwe Kid – Dick of the Bushveld

I will keep you posted…

Sunday, August 05, 2012

London 2012 Chav Olympics

London 2012 Chav Olympics

More gold medals are expected in the Chav Olympics today.

After Britain’s incredible success yesterday as Cherry Choke – Coke (29), won the women’s Bingealong, (100 litres Hurling, Quick Jump, High Hump, Shots Pissed, Cock Tossing, 200 staggering paces and 800 kneel crawl), with a world record of over 300 defibrillator attempts to restart her heart more than her nearest rival - hopes are high for professional yob Jimmy Jobless (24), in the Arson and Rioting event tonight.

Interviewed yesterday, as he watched another former inmate of Brixton’s elite academy for retards, Masha Your-hedin, winning gold in Headkicking, Jimmy said through a cockney slang translator –

‘I don’t expect more than bronze tonight. The Spanish and Greek governments spend millions more than our stupid leaders to create such great athletes in this discipline. What have we got – ARTOS and the DWP - what useless fucking help are they hey?’

However, Paddy Pisshead (79) from Belfast is expected on the pain of a kneecapping if he fails, to win gold for team GB in the 100 Guinness in 10seconds, along with the teenage sensation Katie Gray in the Under 14 and Pregnant finals which is live on BBC1 shortly after the pubs close. Katie (13), as we know, became a celebrity as she was crowned ‘Queen Katie Drop-em for a Price’ overnight after winning the Jeremy Kyle reality show ‘Knobs and Knickers’.

Katie has had it rough ever since both parents died in tragic circumstances whilst working for some weird organisation in Afghanistan that was swapping bibles for top grade hash.

Happily, Katie’s grandmother, Chadee Gray (50), a failed writer of soft porn, who selfishly, at tax payer’s expense, looks after Katie, said that she would –
‘Maybe watch the cheap tart…’, on the TV if her part time partner, Roger, ‘…doesn’t come around to watch the pole vault.’