Sunday, May 29, 2011

Military chiefs reviewed plan to invade Rhodesia

Public record: State papers released from 1965 highlight dilemma facing fledgling Wilson government over thorny issue of UDI

This article appeared or, more precisely, is still ‘up’ there on the British Independent newspaper’s website, was written on Monday, 1 January 1996 by John Crossland. That is some time ago. I recall reading something similar years ago and I think Peter Godwin mentions the scenario in his excellent Rhodesians Never Die.

So why is it up there again? From what I can gather it has something to do with the way the newspaper interacts with Facebook, because as you can see by the screenshot, it has the name Robert Fowler next to the headline. I grew up with Robert. We were in the Boy Scouts together and we also went to the same Mount Pleasant High School.

I speak via Skype to Rob on a rather regular basis when he is in Victoria Falls. He is rather unhinged from smoking plenty bush dagga and believes in spirits and that the world’s woes are the fault of the Illuminati. Otherwise he is rather harmless, but does have a rather lot of ‘friends’ who seem a mixture of ‘Ahh - Bless the poor sod.’, to ‘Aah - the Baas of the sad poor.’.

I can only presume that it due to all his ‘friends’ clicking ‘like’ that the Independent put it up there. If he can do that, so can I. I must make a plan…

Meanwhile, all though there isn’t anything up there yet, (I am busy doing a website and have to go over the book again), please click ‘like’ here - Last of the Rhodesians

Monday, May 23, 2011

Swimming Elephants of Kariba

I sometimes come across (actually, rather often), complete reporting tripe. This particular piece entitled ‘Rajan packs his trunk: World's only swimming bull elephant heads for retirement’ is one of these. Perhaps it may be very rare for elephants to swim in salt water, but in Africa, swimming elephants are well known. Some safari firms can even arrange for you to sit on them (semi-trained ones presumably) whilst they swim.

I saw swimming elephants in Kariba. Our guide explained that they ‘sense’ their generation passed on knowledge of routes taken to favourite foraging areas. When the lake was created they simply swam, still following the old path. 
According to urban legend (or should that be ‘bush lore’), National Park rangers once followed a couple of elephants, as they swam from Fothergill Island to Kariba Town - an astonishing 20 km. (approx) It took them 24 hours and staggered out completely exhausted.

Here is a lovely video of Kariba elephants swimming.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Technology- It Sucks!

I do not own a so called ‘Smart Phone’. Why should I pay out money I do not have for an object which is just like my computer, screen, mouse, speakers, router, webcam and telephone, all stuffed into a flattened packet of cards? Daft.

You know what this means? I will tell you. It is the same as trying to cook sausage, egg, bacon and chips in a tea cup; whilst it sings to you about your cholesterol and at the same time you’re talking to someone who wants to sell you a policy for paying towards your funeral. Do I care who pays for it when I am dead? Let the bastards spit on my pauper’s grave. On top of that, you can upload the entire webcammed mess onto Youtube!

My mobile phone is very simple to use. I turn it on and if it rings, I push a button and answer. I do not have to use the button to phone out because it seems to be broken and just says
            ‘You only have 3p credit, please arrange a top up.’
No idea what that’s about. So, whilst we are on the subject of technology…

My poor heart! Yes, it nearly stopped again. Only a few tins of beer and a rum and coke could revive it. I managed to delete (as in gone/disappeared/hypercyperdefrag) all my work on the upcoming super doper website from the last three days. This was rather devastating. Then, after recovering, I went about creating a montage of pictures. After many hours I concluded throwing a smart phone out the window is a lot easier than afore mentioned alternative. Hence I am still at it. I do not want to pain you with my pain - I save that for my memoir.

Aah – memoir. How is that going? No idea- I can’t remember! Lol. No, seriously now – the proofreading is coming along nicely. I still need a cartoonist though. Meanwhile, I fight with the tech shit. I think I am too old for this…

Till later.

Lore – Last of the Rhodesians

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


My head is spinning at the moment. My Timi has sharpened and redesigned the logo. Note that the last flag is now of the BSAP. I just love how he redid the words. Now I have to try and work out how to replace the old one. Meanwhile…here it is.

The Gokwe Kid arrests Mugabe

1977 on my first bush patrol in Gokwe. This picture is relative to a chapter in the book.

Monday, May 09, 2011

The Gokwe Kid

Greetings all, this is a quickie.

It has been a tumultuous week and a bit. The book is now being proofread (by non-other than former Chief Inspector Mike Harvey, my Boss at the time!). It is also being checked over for editing by former Chief Justice Fergus Blackie! AND to blow your socks away, wants to publish me. We will see hey!

The book, as it stands before going over it again, is 291 pages and 60 chapters. So I am slowly progressing. Meanwhile, I am doing a web and design course with the Open University. The plan is to have a dedicated web site with pictures, maps, more anecdotes and loads more interesting stuff that will compliment the book.

Sadly, it turns out this is rather hard work this web site malarkey, and things go terribly wrong. So wrong, that I committed suicide at least seven times and without success.

Not to worry. Things are getting under control and soon…very soon, you will buy my brilliant book and make it a best seller!

I am puzzling over the title. ‘Last of the Rhodesians’, followed with the sub-title ‘Chronicles of an African anarchist’, is cool. I like that and the name has been floating around on the web for some time. Actually, it gets scary. Type the word Chirama, or Gokwe, into Google and click images…presto, loads of links to here. So, the problem is, I have a Part One. The book that is about to be published is actually Part Two. But, third sub-title ‘Gooks and Gob and Gokwe and Gwelo’ is clumsy and a right mouthful. How about
'The Gokwe Kid’? OR, actually, don’t bother with a third sub-title at the moment and worry later IF I actually do manage to write a Part One.

Cheers for now and start following here and on Facebook please.