Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Sting – Bankers and Bees

We in the West worry about bankers a lot more than we worry about bees, which is rather silly because without bees there would be no bankers.

It is reputed that Albert Einstein said -

“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then bankers would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more bankers.”

It appears that this is a myth and he never said any such thing, but it doesn’t take away the fact that at this present moment the bees are in big trouble. So are bankers, but to be honest, come the revolution, if 70% of them were to be put against the wall and shot, I would be the first to invest in the armaments industry.

Unfortunately this seems unlikely as the only thing that seems to be being thrown at the bankers is huge amounts of money nobody has.

Bees are dying faster than bankers. Can we live without bankers? Well sub-Saharan Africa did very well without them before the Whiteman arrived in the form of missionaries, closely followed by bankers. It wasn’t as if the indigenous tribes had caves stuffed with ivory and the locals could go there and take a loan of three tusks to buy a wife and pay it back in instalments of stuffed baboon heads.

We cannot really live without bees. Well, we could, because we don’t need bees for grains and marijuana. Still, I think we would all soon get sick of eating dope sandwiches. At least we would still have beer.

Exactly why all the bees are dying is open to discussion. The Co-Op group of supermarkets believe it is due to pesticides. I am worried about the bees. I have been stung once or twice in my life by a bee but it was my own fault, so I don’t hold any grudge against them. I also got stung by bankers and it was also my own fault but I do hold a grudge against them as they shouldn’t have given me the money. It is a bit like a shop-lifter claiming he still steals because the store’s security is too stupid to catch him.

Bees, like bankers need homes. Bees’ homes are relatively cheap to build and accommodate lots and lots of busy bees whereas bankers homes cost millions and house just one lazy banker. Can bankers redeem their reputation by helping the bees?

I admit, grudgingly, it appears that besides their standard thieving ways that are put down to ‘costs’, ‘exchange rates’ and certain ‘taxes’, perhaps they can.

As I posted a short time ago, a woman called Anne needed a loan to expand her beehive making business in Kenya called Apiary Ventures Enterprises. She approached the banks and via MYC4 received Euro 8,744 to be paid back over 24 months to 70 investors. Most of them were between Euro 5 and 100 and one chap investing Euro 4,759. Interest rates were variable, highest 11%, lowest 1%. Average that she is paying is 9.69%

Now Anne has paid back her first instalment. My little investment is Euro 20 at 7.5%.

The banks (VISA) swiped 3% of that straight off when I handed my dosh over.

I have just received Email notification that my share of the first repaid instalment is in my MYC4 account. Take a look at this –

The Business you invested in has just repaid an amount to the Investors,

of which you receive your share. The details are below:

Business: Apiary Ventures Enterprises(2)
Bid amount: €20.00
Interest rate: 7.50%

Repayment: €412.44
Repayment - Your share: €0.79

Gains/Losses on Currency Exchange: €-15.23
Gains/Losses on Currency Exchange - Your share: €-0.03

The funds have been transferred to your MyC4 account.

I am not too clued up on accounts, but I gather that if it goes on at this rate, I will land up with less money than I started with. Where has the rest gone? Daft question really, where the hell did the trillions and zillions go that have created this great credit crisis?

More finger pointing at bankers.

Still, I prefer it this way. This is much better than simply handing dosh over to some smelly Irish ex-pop star to help finance tyrants. I have helped to save bees, thus saving all of humanity at a mere pittance and I couldn’t have done it without the banks.

1 comment:

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