Friday, December 02, 2005

We Have Run Out of the Alphabet, Not Money.

Nothing much really to report from the world today. I had a look about but there was nothing really to catch my interest. Whatever Tony Blair says is rubbish any way and if Boy George Bush manages to string three words together that anyone can understand, we all run for cover in case he starts another Custer’s last stand anywhere that has a barrel of oil hidden under its soil.

So as usual I read up to see how progress, or lack of, is in my ex-homeland. Pages and pages I went through today. If everyone in Zimbabwe read the crap that is being spouted by the miss-ruling party, they must be extremely relieved that as soon as they chase the last Colonial thieves out the place, every one will have a house and plenty to eat. I find this a little puzzling. When I used to live there and when I visited on numerous occasions in the 80’s and 90’s, I never saw homeless or starving people. So where had all the filthy non humans, (these are white people by the way) hide all the destitute?

I watched via broadband this report.

This well worth watching. Best is for last with a well dressed representative of Mr. Mugabe’s government blaming all the countries woes on the rain and Great Britain. I am a bit confused about this new housing scheme they have started. Would it not be prudent first to build the new houses before bulldozing 700,000 people’s homes? Still, the rain being a problem is correct. Of the few homes that have been put together, a substantial amount of them have started to melt! Unlike the logic of trying to build an Igloo in the Sahara, here was a simple case of not reading the instructions on the cement packet. Lets all burst into a song from Mary Poppins…

‘Just a spoon full of cement helps the house melt down,
the house melt down…’

The governor of the reserve bank of Zimbabwe, an erstwhile individual with the name Gono, whose name will soon be changed to Gonow, is musing the idea of starting a new currency. Why? That’s because they are running out of words in the alphabet. If you can have an overdraft in billions, then a budget in trillions, that will soon move into zillions and then? What comes next? That’s the problem. The poor man is at a loss for words!

I was a good boy yesterday. I compressed three chapter stories from my book into one and chucked out a thousand words. It was all about a garment factory in what was then called Salisbury. I have an uneasy feeling that the firm no longer exists as my email to the place remains unanswered. Maybe it was intercepted and deemed dangerous? Not sure what I fancy writing today. The Gokwe story needs to be finished, it is the largest bit running at almost 40 thousands words. Amazing, I only spent 15 months there. What a place. Here is an old map. If you look carefully I have sketched the borders out. Just one of the tiny scraps of land bits allocated to Blacks only under Ian Smith. I was a teenage policeman there. Made me a bit queasy doing some Google research. Prior to one election the opposition party’s candidate was found bathing in the river. He had very little to say for himself and never will anymore. This is during Mugabe’s reign.

Today is number 4. This is very important day. It means my four plates and four coffee cups are dirty. It also means I get to have a bath. My boiler doesn’t have a timing gadget to set on and off, so to save electricity it goes on when I run out of crockery. It is quite a performance, believe me. After waiting a couple of hours after throwing the switch, I put the heater from the front room into the kitchen for half an hour. The door is so swollen with moisture it no longer closes properly. Once the kitchen is defrosted, I can venture in to clean up.
Then, the heater goes into the bathroom and sod the health and safety laws. I would rather be electrocuted than freeze to death. The door doesn’t close properly either.

They have started to put the Christmas decorations down the high street. Part of this consists of real trees stuck into holders on building fronts. This was done yesterday. Unfortunately the one attached to the Barclays bank fell off in the wind, complete with brightly lit coloured bulbs. If it had landed on someone they would have received a real shock for Christmas…hah hah hah.

Well that should do it for now. Must get on with some things.

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