Monday, December 05, 2005


I am exhausted. Three days I have been at it almost non stop rearranging and adding to the Gokwe story. With luck it is 90% finished tomorrow evening. Then comes the forgotten bits and bobs and the editing and all that stuff. I have this very instant received an email from my ex Boss from those days. So I hope to iron out some details.

Last nights Quiz at the Taliban Hotel was a disaster. My team were all Talibans and had just returned from a staff dinner at the Indian. Completely pissed the lot of them. Never mind having difficulty with the quiz questions, most them couldn’t answer a simple one, like, ‘What is your Name?’.

I notice the seagulls have finally eaten the vomit left outside the Lion pub/hotel next door to me. I gather there was some Kung Fu fun on Saturday, but I was most probably playing my stereo so loud I didn’t notice.

I had time to sniff about our little planet via the plug in the wall this morning as I supped on a coffee. Cut and taped a few little bits that took my fancy…

Samuel Mboro, an unemployed printer, lives with 20 members of his family in a tiny, four-room house on the outskirts of Harare. "I can't describe how difficult life is here," he said."No one in our family is working, so we are surviving on Red Cross handouts. I am surprised that the government is saying that there is enough food. That's not true. Those who don't get handouts are starving. People are dying of hunger."

White pensioners are also suffering. Len Huxley, 84, who was born in Britain and served as a Royal Marine during the Second World War, has spent the past 40 years in Zimbabwe. He survives in his small flat on handouts from volunteers.

"I have a jar of coffee which I haven't dared use," he said. "I just sit and look at it. I haven't had a piece of bacon for four years. If I'm feeling generous I might buy some bananas and have them on toast."

John Sheppard, the co-ordinator for Meals on Wheels, said many cases were heartbreaking:

"One man we know, who's 80, is forced to work as an electrician, climbing into roofs and up pylons. His wife is 87, almost totally blind and crippled with arthritis. Because of inflation, their pension is worth just 20,000 Zimbabwe dollars a month (10 pence). Their daughter, who lives with them, has Down's syndrome. If they weren't helped, they'd die. We know of a gentleman who starved to death in a caravan. He probably lost the urge to live.We know of a woman who lives in a cowshed wearing clothes made out of plastic. It's staggering what hyper-inflation really does."

Campaigning at a rally for last weekend's senate elections, President Robert Mugabe told ITV News that his international critics could learn from him.

"They should look at how we are practising our democracy, especially the Americans."

Air Zimbabwe has long since exhausted the good credit it began with 25 years ago as the successor to Air Rhodesia; even Nigerian spammers aren't sending email to Air Zimbabwe’s offices any more.

Zimbabwe postal service has introduced a new stamp with a picture of Robert Mugabe in honour of his achievements.

In daily use it has been shown that the stamp is not sticking to envelopes.

This has enraged the president who demanded a full investigation.

After a month of testing a special presidential commission has come out with the following findings:

1. The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.
3. People are just spitting on the wrong side.

That will do for a bit. Catch ya soon…

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