Sunday, April 29, 2018

A car crash?

When I got hit by a car last night -

My own fault really. Well pissed, I was staggering from the pub after they threw me out, (bastards – all I did was wee in an empty pint pot and drink it for a bet), and… was looking for my wheels.

I knew, or vaguely remembered, I think I had driven to the pub and parked up but now I was not so sure.

I was confused. Not intoxicated. Just well trashed. I could not even remember my name, nor could I see my feet that seemed to work on their own – backwards.

I found the key fob. Must have taken 20 minutes between vomiting a bad pint to work out ‘open door’ button.

Flashing orange lights – yes… there was my Babe half way up a tree. (Er – was a bit drunk when I came to drink more and with no parking place, I stuck my four by four up the tree…). Besides the point.

Can we cut to the chase?

Blah-blah-blah. Get on with it man.

Okay. A precis. Yes? A summery?

Good. It works like this. I am drunk, walking backwards across a busy road and get hit by a car.

Goodnight – Lights out.

No comments: