When I got hit by a car last night -
My own fault really. Well pissed, I was staggering from the pub after they threw me out, (bastards – all I did was wee in an empty pint pot and drink it for a bet), and… was looking for my wheels.
I knew, or vaguely remembered, I think I had driven to the pub and parked up but now I was not so sure.
I was confused. Not intoxicated. Just well trashed. I could not even remember my name, nor could I see my feet that seemed to work on their own – backwards.
I found the key fob. Must have taken 20 minutes between vomiting a bad pint to work out ‘open door’ button.
Flashing orange lights – yes… there was my Babe half way up a tree. (Er – was a bit drunk when I came to drink more and with no parking place, I stuck my four by four up the tree…). Besides the point.
Can we cut to the chase?
Blah-blah-blah. Get on with it man.
Okay. A precis. Yes? A summery?
Good. It works like this. I am drunk, walking backwards across a busy road and get hit by a car.
Goodnight – Lights out.
My own fault really. Well pissed, I was staggering from the pub after they threw me out, (bastards – all I did was wee in an empty pint pot and drink it for a bet), and… was looking for my wheels.
I knew, or vaguely remembered, I think I had driven to the pub and parked up but now I was not so sure.
I was confused. Not intoxicated. Just well trashed. I could not even remember my name, nor could I see my feet that seemed to work on their own – backwards.
I found the key fob. Must have taken 20 minutes between vomiting a bad pint to work out ‘open door’ button.
Flashing orange lights – yes… there was my Babe half way up a tree. (Er – was a bit drunk when I came to drink more and with no parking place, I stuck my four by four up the tree…). Besides the point.
Can we cut to the chase?
Blah-blah-blah. Get on with it man.
Okay. A precis. Yes? A summery?
Good. It works like this. I am drunk, walking backwards across a busy road and get hit by a car.
Goodnight – Lights out.
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