Monday, April 30, 2018

Finnigan the Frigger from Finland.

Finnigan the Frigger from Finland.

Finnigan always wanted to be a sailor. Sail the seven seas, meet new people, go to off shore islands, murder the men folk, rape the women and torch their huts.

But it could not happen as Finnigan was born with no legs. They fell off in his mother
s womb and she shat them out later. So - he did not even have a rotten leg to stand on.

Luckily for him
the internet came along and now he spends all day and night looking at pictures of sperm whales and frigs in his rigging whilst listening to -

The Irish Piss Taker Taster.

The Paddy, the Irish Piss Taker Taster.

Paddy, aka Patrick, was born in a small town in the Republic of Ireland. The town is called Eeehbygumwhatyagotonendofthumb. No one goes there because no Nat Sav can take in so many letters without exploding.

Unemployment is rife in Eeehbygumwhatyagotonendofthumb. In fact
with a population of 313 people, the only person with a job is the Job Centre manageress, who only turns up once a week, so drunk, she shat in the aisle of the Co-Op next door to her office.

due to universal credits, attended an interview after his benefits were cut to 50 pence a week. He had filled in a form. Under his qualifications he wrote Piss Taker.
Because it was true.
He would stay in the local pub and sit with a glass in the gents toilet by the urinals. When those that came to pass urine, he would offer his glass. He had studied biology at school and knew that 33% percent of a drunks urine still held 37% proof booze. It was logical.

Why waste such an opportunity?

Paddy became the Piss taker taster.
But he lost his benefits as his job was not recognised.

Ulises - the man from Uranus

Ulises - the man from Uranus
Born to be wild, Ulises wanted to be earth bound and not from Uranus.

But shit happens and he died a long and slowly death on a shit hole of a planet and his battery on his mobile phone ran out and Netflix cancelled his account and he got a tax bill for 30 Euros and his pet dog kicked it and his cat starved to death and his pet Friday ran off with his wife and there was no more beer in the fridge.

Who pays for the funeral?