Friday, March 10, 2017

LM Radio – Confusion due to Repetition of Adverts and Advice

‘Dad, I am going to climb this tree.’

‘Be careful son, you have difficulty climbing into bed.’

‘I will be fine Dad …aahhhh. My leg hurts.’

‘Don’t worry son, I know just the people to call for help.

Dring- dring, dring-dring, dring-dring (continue for half an hour)

‘TimberCity - Natasha Smartmetical on the apparatus. How can I help you?’

‘I think my son has broken his leg. The tibia and fibula are twisted at the patella sideways and a splintered part of the femur is sticking out his thigh pointing skywards.’

‘Not to worry sir – here at TimberCity we have all the tools you need.  We stock a huge range of chains saws to remove the damaged limb and a fine selection of staple guns to seal the opening left behind.’

‘Sounds great, but it is his right leg, not his left behind.’

‘Right you are sir. Do you know how to get to us?’

‘Yes, straight down Che Guevara Ave, through the police control and turn left into Robert Mugabe dead end.’

‘Correct sir. Remember, if at the control, the officers attempt to ask for a bribe – do not pay. You must report them. Real police officers are easily identified by designer Porsche sunglasses and gold Rolex watches.’

‘Thanks for the advice – I will be there soon. Can you replace the limb?’

‘But of course, sir. We make made to measure peglegs. A wide selection of woods. Ebony, willow, beach – which covers blacks, whites  and colored people. If your son is a lighty, we do a special in balsa wood to.’

‘Fantastic. I will measure his leg before I drive over.’

‘Not a problem – and remember, Tinkie says “Don’t drink and drive”.’