Thursday, December 08, 2005


Further embarrassment to the embattled national carrier was revealed today when a spokesperson confirmed the rumours.

‘Yes, it did happen,’ the outgoing director, Truthwill Fuckwit, told a news reporter from the Government fun and chains weekly, ‘The Daily Nutter’.

‘The plane ran out of fuel just as it flew over the ruins. It is very embarrassing for us all. However no one was injured,’ the well groomed figure in a brand new Gucci suit, went on,

‘There were no tourists visiting Zimbabwe Ruins any more to crash on. The pilot had claimed political asylum when he landed the plane in Dubai to let the only passenger off,’ the composed Fuckwit went on to reply to our reporters question regarding who flew the plane back to Zimbabwe.

‘The police have confirmed a Mr. Automaniac Pilot was at the control, but he must have been sleeping when the aircraft overshot Harare and then running out of fuel. They have not found the culprit yet and it is feared he has absconded.’

Asked who would clear the mess up, Mr. Fuckwit appeared surprised with the question.

‘We allowed the benefactors of our Presidents recent ‘clean out trash’ program to use the bits as shelter after their homes were bulldozed. The pieces have all been used’

Referring to a criticism made by the recently departing Jan Egeland, the United Nations emergency relief coordinator, that the President had refused the donation of thousands of tents for the homeless, Mr Fuckwit reiterated what was said by President Mugabe to the UN envoy that:

"We are not a tents people... We believe in living in the arse end of a crashed ZANU (PF) machine."

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